Rating Trash DCEU Movies

*Spoilers*

A decade late but whatever. I recently (as in over quarantine so not recently) suffered through Batman vs. Superman and decided to rate it. Also, I’m back on my posting thrice a week nonsense (lol).

All opinions are my own and my opinions are trash. However, my criteria basically is:

  1. No Because Plot
  2. No Glaring Plot Holes/Continuity Errors
  3. No lame, cringe unnatural dialogue (this includes uber woke sjw warrior dialogue and attempts at preaching to the audience via another character)
  4. Things must be shown and not told.
  5. Protagonists must go through some sort of character development, good or bad
  6. Female characters, if they are the protagonist, should not have a plot that revolves around a male character (unless it’s a romance).
  7. Characters cannot toss away every traditionally feminine or masculine trait solely for the sake of being woke

Man of Steel

  • set the ground work for what could have been a superior Man of Steel 2, or at least lead into a decent Batman solo movie.
  • score was fantastic
  • seeing super-powered beings beat each other up is fun.
  • Henry Cavill is hella f i n e.
  • Twas ok until it becomes a horror movie Zod is introduced.
  • Clark’s father going back for a dog and Superman not rescuing him made -0 sense. Sorry Sparky but bye. The directors show us multiple times Superman throwing caution to the wind by saving people, yet he’s really not gonna even try with his own dad????
    • This could’ve been easily remedied if they’d either showed young Clark repeatedly letting people die when he could’ve saved them (out of character, but consistent), or pulled something like Clark fails to save Pa because he hesitates for a second too long or whatever and a beam of wood hit his head. Didn’t fit his character that he was just like “oh no, I could save my dad but he said not too, so I’m just gonna stand here and watch him die because people might see me!!!”

The whole fight between Zod.

  • Why didn’t Supes try to get him out of Metropolis? I get it’s his third day on the job, but like just one-punch man him into space.
  • Why make out with Lois Lane instead of helping folks? There’s so much focus on religious/Christian imagery, but not enough Superman saving those around him, which is the core of Superman’s character. Again, this could’ve been remedied somewhat by showing Superman balancing saving people and fighting Zod, before realizing Zod’s just gonna keep trying to kill people unless he merks him. This could lead nicely into Superman snapping Zod’s neck.
  • Supes killing Zod – literally why move his head towards the family? Why was the family just sitting there screaming? Really, the writers couldn’t have at least corralled them into a corner or trapped them under some debris? Again, if the writers had shown Zod repeatedly killing people and Superman savingthem until realizing that he really was gonna have to kill Zod to get him to stop, this could build nicely into Zod’s kamikaze me speech and Supes deciding to kill him, since at that point Zod’s purpose for being alive was over and he probably really would have just kept causing chaos on Earth until he died.

This movie could have been an interesting take on Superman, who’s literally so perfect, good, and indestructible he veers into boring territory. If they’d amped up the idea of him struggling with wanting to help humanity because of his nature vs. wanting to live low-key for the sake of his parents and also feeling like humanity is generally trash for the way they’ve ostracized him, it could’ve been grand.

Also, they should’ve played up the whole Superman finding his people thing as that would have made him having to kill Zod actually sad. Despite it’s flaws, I still found Man of Steel enjoyable; however, I’m certain that’s simply because of Henry Cavill’s physical appearance.

Man of Steel Rating: 6.5/10

Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

A single conversation between Batman and Superman, which would have been about as long as their actual fight was, would have rendered BvS nonexistent.

  • Why did everyone blame Superman for what happened in Metropolis? Technically, he activated that ship or whatever that brought Zod here, but like that’s not what people were mad about. It’s clear the terraforming machine did the bulk of the damage to the city.
  • Why was Batman specifically so upset with Superman?
  • Why did Superman run away to sulk after that EMT said he needed space? I get Snyder was going for a Superman who needed to grow or whatever, but Superman wouldn’t mope on Lois’ window frame because his feelings got hurt. Furthermore, the EMT saying that didn’t even make sense given Superman was clearly helping get people from the building.
  • Why wasn’t the first words Superman said to Batman when he went to beat his #+% “Lex Luthor kidnapped my mother,” ????
  • Why did Superman say “save Martha” instead of “save my mother” ?????
  • Joker-lite Lex Luthor in general? (????)
  • How did Lois know to look for the spear?
  • Why didn’t Wonder Woman run the spear through Doomsday? She, with her super strength, uses a sword already and wouldn’t have been slowly dying whilst handling it.
  • Why was Doomsday even there?

First, we needed a Wonder Woman and Batman movie, maybe Man of Steel II.

A Batman movie or MoS II would serve to a.) introduce us to this Batman and give us a reason to care about him zipping under falling buildings stressed out b.) introduce us to Lex Luthor, who we’re just suppose to assume is very smart c.) develop the relationship between Lois and Superman.

Second, a more fitting title would’ve been Batman vs. Superman vs. Lex Luthor vs. The United States Military vs. The Media vs. The United States Government vs. Superman’s Nature vs. Doomsday: Dawn of Justice featuring Wonder Woman, with cameos from the Flash, Aquaman, and Darkseid.

Too much going on, which is precisely what a Batman solo movie/MoS II could have fixed.

In a Batman solo movie, the issue of superheroes having too much power could have been fleshed out with Batman doing his whole judge, jury, executioner deal in Gotham while dealing with the fall-out of the fight between Zod and Superman (the focus could’ve been like Batman vs. the Media/Government). Here, we could see why Batman had such a hate boner against Superman if we see Batman eventually allowing himself to be held accountable, yet feeling as if Supes is doing his own thing because he’s too powerful. Could even have Lex Luthor shoehorned in here as a villain because he acted like the Joker anyway this would allow us to see how exactly Lex is so smart.

Sadly, even rushed and sans other movies it potentially could have been ok if writers focused the first half of the movie on Batman and Superman being generally sus of each other with Lex trying to pit everyone against Superman whilst working on his blood sacrifice Doomsday/Zod reincarnation until Batman realizes he’s being played by Lex like everyone else thanks to Lois, too late as Lex has already used Kryptonite technology to bring Doomsday to life (Doomsday even being in this movie at all makes no sense).

Alas, that’s not what happened.

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice Rating: 3/10.

Justice League

  • The CGI was trash
  • The score was okay
  • The only character with personality was The Flash
  • Steppenwolf was lame, generic, and corny and if you don’t know anything about him from the comics, he makes absolutely no sense either
  • The humor was clearly an attempt to copy Marvel for money. They should’ve stuck with the darker tone and maybe let The Flash be some occasional comedic relief
  • The fight scenes were lame, like how are you going to have a bunch of superpowered beings mostly just punch one another

Again, would have benefitted from several movies involving these characters. And similar to BvS, the plot was totally unfocused and messy; the characters only come together because the plot needs them too, not because it makes any sense. They have almost no chemistry either, not even awkward we’re only here because we have to be chemistry.

The Snyder cut was a slow-motion version of the original movie. Sure, the CGI looked better and there were some nice scenes added, but the framework of the movie is not that good and while Snyder’s version was better, that’s mostly because the original version tried to do in 2 hours what needed to be done over like 5-6 movies, which was develop the characters enough that I cared to watch what they were doing.

That said, I do vaguely recall enjoying Justice League when I watched in it theaters. Probably because Henry Cavill, Jason Momoa, and Gal Gadot were in it

Justice League Rating: 4.5/10

Lack of humor isn’t the issue with these movies – they could’ve stuck with the darker, grittier tone because the superhero market is ripe for that, and not like The Boys and trashburn Brightburn edge lord dark (I like the Boys tbh), but something less comedic that explores what it means to be a superhero, how superheroes work with governments, how superheroes are held accountable, etc.

What’s missing here is character development. You have to make viewers care about your characters before throwing them into situations. Any movie can give us fight scenes and good visuals, but when viewers feel emotionally attached they’ll keep coming back. And when viewers simply like the characters themselves, they’re much more likely to overlook plot holes like these.

Anyway, Suicide Squad was also terrible, but I stopped watching that once whoever Cara’s character was became The Enchantress, so it would be disingenuous to rate it. The Joker was lame and over the top. Only good thing to come out of it was Harley Quinn and Will Smith’s character. Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Birds of Prey, and Shazam are not included as those were alright.

Manga Analysis: Zombies & Cults in Fort of Apocalypse

I recently read Fort of Apocalypse (Apocalypse no Toride) and figured since this is a Christian blog (lol), why not combine my two favorite things? Those things being Jesus and horror, specifically zombies. The Bible is actually full of a lot of violence and gore; people are burned alive, dismembered, impaled with tent poles…

*some spoilers*

Fort of Apocalypse is about a child, Maeda, falsely accused of murder and consequently sent to prison. Things are already not vibing for him when the world is overcome with zombies that quickly eradicate any sense of normalcy, and most of humanity, leaving the prison as one of the few safe havens.

The story begins as a pretty typical-ish zombie tale of Maeda ft. his squad trying to survive. Except the zombies move as giant zombie pillars controlled by the Bokor, who is like an advanced zombie with mega lungs and 5475489 pupils. There are (fight or flight warning: click at your own risk) zombie dogs and zombie seals. Truly an aesthetic. Maeda himself turns out to be a Bokor, with the ability to control the zombies, after one of them goes yandere and tries to eat him.

Notably, there’s a religious quack who manages to convince others, including a young woman named Daisy trapped on a yacht with a bunch of zombies, the zombies are actually angels and the Bokor is Jesus. Ideas that are bolstered by the fact that, when they step onto land, the zombies ignore them, solidifying their belief the Bokor is the Child of Light.

Even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, there’s always that one overly spiritual mf.

They also somehow manage to out-woke probably the most wokest of the woke by claiming zombies have rights.

woke level: infinity

The Child of Light Cult is introduced via Daisy and Corporal Hatt, when they arrive at the prison. Daisy and Hatt cosplay as military and promise the prisoners safety, lying to them about their families being alive and well. In reality, they’re just looking for many-pupiled Jesus the Bokor whom they believe is among the prisoners. Hatt initially comes off as a kind, fatherly figure, very similar to how Jim Bob Duggar cult leaders portray themselves as kind overseers of benign patriarchy trying to shepherd their sheep into Heaven. However, the actual, literal second it becomes clear Maeda is also a Bokor, homeboy drops all pretenses, assaults Maeda, and reveals himself to be a man only concerned with gaining immortality and power. When that doesn’t work out, Hatt ditches Daisy, leaving her at the mercy of hoards of angry men, in jail for various crimes, who have just been lied to about their families and haven’t seen a woman eons.

While Corporal Hatt is the cult’s leader, Daisy, a young, conventionally, attractive woman, does most of the speaking which I found interesting. I’ve blogged about the danger of women like Mrs. Midwest who cushion their harmful, nonsense ideologies like the red pill with cherry-picked Bible verses because they’re pretty, well- spoken, and palatable to those who aren’t extremely radical in their beliefs, which is precisely why she’s dangerous. Women like Mrs. Midwest are far more effective at propagating cult-ish ideas, despite their danger, because they cushion these ideas with fun stuff like baking, wearing dresses, being kind and motherly, i.e. good things that are worthy of pursuing.

Daisy too functions as the cults face, despite the fact she isn’t actually the leader and is left behind by the man who was suppose to take care of her. I could list other prominent super conservative women, like Tomi Lahren, Lauren Southern, Lauren Chen too but similar to how these women have been attacked by their own bases for not living up to what alt-right men claims is the ideal, feminine women, Daisy is abandoned by Corporal Hatt as soon as she’s objectively no longer useful to him.

I don’t actually have anything deep to say on this topic, but I found the comparison interesting.

Any who, while I would in no way encourage anyone to read Fort of Apocalypse because it’s pretty violent, dark, and gory (so obviously I loved it), it does illuminate how cults are often born in dire circumstances and how the men in them are happy to prop up young women, so long as those women say and do exactly what they want. But the moment those women are no longer useful to their cause (and rarely does that cause have anything to do with God’s will, so much as it is about fulfilling these men’s desires for power), their true colors come out. They aren’t really kind, fatherly figures wanting to lead their followers to salvation, but selfish individuals interested only in self-gain. Quite the opposite of what the Bible says leadership really is.

As for Fort of Apocalypse itself, it’s full of action, bromance, and scary critters. So if you’re looking to have nightmares about zombie dogs, or if you have a high-tolerance for creepy things, this is the manga for you.

Fort of Apocalypse Rating: 7.1/10

Webtoon Analysis: All of Us Are(n’t) Dead

I’ve spent every spare second playing Horizon Forbidden West and I’m trying to get my A+ cert for my job but *see above*. All in all, -0/10 for productivity. Nevertheless, I found yet another way to be unproductive and finished All of Us Are Dead.

Since I haven’t uploaded anything in like 1000 years, I thought I’d blog about this.

*spoilers*

All of Us Are Dead, by Joo Dong-geun (also known as Now At Our School), is a South Korean zombie apocalypse fiction taking place in a school. The story centers around a group of students at Hyosan High trying to survive as a zombie outbreak ravages their city faster than Red Bull pulled out of Russia. There are loads of characters who’s names I’m not gonna list, but I want to contrast Nayeon/Gwinam to Suhyeok/Namra because both duos want to survive. The former solely focus on their own self-preservation and desires, whilst the latter show incredible bravery and selflessness in trying to ensure their classmates survive too. (side note: it’s also a k-drama but I don’t really watch TV so can’t comment on the quality of that)

Notably, the government is semi-effective, rapidly quarantining Hyosan to prevent the infection from spreading and even dropping a sleep bomb on the zombies despite woketavists out-woking the wokest of us by insisting zombies have human rights. I found this level of competence from the government even more unbelievable than Mr. Lee, the science teacher, leaving zombie hamsters in the middle of his unlocked classroom. My dude’s sheer stupidity caused countless of deaths because he literally couldn’t keep those Hamsters home, or in glass cages with air pockets (albeit, apparently the k-drama does fix this incredible lapse of judgment).

Anyway, it’s these zombie Hamtaros who bite one his students, Hyeon-ju, setting off a chain reaction of sickness and sending the students of Hyosan scrambling to find ways to survive.

By comparing Gwinam and Nayeon to literally any other character in this story (including various zombies), but particularly to Namra and Suhyeok, we see all four want to survive but only one duo will do so by any means necessary. While initially the students hunker down and wait for help, once they realize they’ve been abandoned by adults (most of whom are relatively useless anyway) and are unlikely to be rescued by the government, they attempt to escape themselves.

Gwinam had negative fifty redeemable traits. He uses another student as a shield, and eventually eats her but only after assaulting a different female student. Didn’t help he was somehow immune to the zombie virus, so he’d also gotten a taste for human flesh. It’s giving every story needs an additional villain in an already terrible world to make things worst for the characters energy. In contrast, Suhyeok spends most of his time aiding others, even going back out into the wild to forage for food. It’s thanks to him (in part) that the surviving students make it to roof and are able to escape out into the woods and eventually to freedom.

Similar to Gwinam, Nayeon is so focused on not becoming a zombie, she loses her humanity without ever getting bitten. Her fear of death and selfishness frankly would have been forgivable because not everyone is a hero. However, Nayeon not only accuses her classmate, Gyeong-su, of getting bitten and turning into a zombie, she intentionally infects him just to prove a point resulting in his demise. Consequently, the students realize they can’t trust her and lock her away, dooming her to a slow and lonely death. In contrast, class president Namra goes out to find food for the others. After being bitten and realizing she’s also got a taste for flesh, she manages to control herself several times until eventually, after the group escapes out into the woods, she realizes the danger she poses to others and separates herself. It’s the ultimate sacrifice really and exemplifies the verse, “no greater love has one man than this: to lay down one’s life for his friends.”

While all of the characters understandably want to live, Gwinam and Nayeon only care about themselves and as they say “[t]he attitude that comes from selfishness leads to death.” Namra and Suhyeok show immense bravery and selflessness in being unwilling to abandon their classmates and doing everything they can to ensure they survive. Consequently, they do end up surviving… so I guess all of them aren’t dead, which makes sense since the English translation appears to be whack.

Admittedly, the webtoon isn’t as thrilling and fast-paced as other monster survival tales (like Sweet Home/Shotgun Boy) and the art work is definitely an aesthetic not everyone will appreciate. But the story has a lot of heart. Like literally you will see lots of organs, hearts, and blood strewn everywhere because… zombies.

All of Us Are Dead Rating: 7/10