Christian Man Triggered Because Bodies Are Cool

Christian Influencer, Paul Olliges of the Morgan and Paul Show, is upset bodies are cool, which I guess is better than being jealous over your unborn child? Peak Biblical masculinity right there, folks.

Embarrassingly, I’ve been too preoccupied with video games, which obviously left me no time to blog. I was playing Sekiro but after dying literally one billion times I rage quit and then alas! Forbidden West came out so that was the end of me pretending I was going to do anything productive for the next few months. Fortunately, the weather is warming which means I’ll be hitting the trail more regularly and not sitting in front of a screen. What I’m really saying is – this annoyed me enough to rouse me from my gaming hermitage.

Interestingly, Paul’s reasoning for warning his followers against reading Bodies Are Cool to their kids is because it’s “aggressively” LGBT+whatever and non-binary, or something. Given this mere children’s book triggered him enough to post about it online, naturally I was curious to see what the book was about. Also, like honestly if he didn’t want people reading this he should’ve like… not posted about it? Truly, of all the problems in the world, is that really the worst thing your child could be learning about?

It took me 5 seconds to find this book online, which is about how long it would’ve taken him to actually read it.

Other than the person wearing a rainbow shirt at the end (which to preschool aged children and generally anyone who likes color literally means nothing) the book mentions nada about being gay or non-binary, or whatever, so… I’m confused at his claim the books is aggressively pro-lgbtq+ as that either indicates he didn’t actually read the book, or he’s lying (a sin) because he was getting too much smoke about it from his followers given the book is generally just about how different types of bodies with different hair types, skin colors and textures, disabilities, etc. are cool which is a pretty harmless message for kids.

Having seen the book’s contents, it’s obvious Paul construes the acknowledgement of women having body hair, which is pretty prominently displayed throughout the book, as some liberal ideology, which no. That’s not some non-binary agenda, that is literally how God made women… with hair on their legs, underarms, and sometimes faces. Society has convinced women these things are somehow wrong when God Almighty Himself put them there. So even though I wear make-up and shave lol, if we’re gonna be literal here, from a Biblical perspective, it makes the most sense for women to not wear make-up, nor shave because that is our natural state and how God made us. For a dude always going on and on about how not giving birth to children is unnatural and gonna end humanity and husbands taking their wives last name is wrong (which there is literally no Biblical basis for a wife to take a husband’s last name) he seems awfully cherry-pick-ish about which things he claims are natural and right.

The Bible says, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal,” the latter of which describes Paul Olliges. Almost everything he says wreaks of moral superiority and smugness, rather than humility and love. Humility is recognizing all of us fall short of the glory of God and need redemption as Romans 3:23 states, and that Paul is no holier than any unbeliever because of his actions, rather it is through Christ alone that he and all Christians are sanctified.

Unfortunately, modern Christians have chosen to roll around the mud with conservatives and sling dirt at liberals online for attention, therefore Paul will likely continue posting stuff like this in an attempt to be “anti-woke” instead of like Christ.

Should Christians be r/antiwork?

It’s the year 2027.

You’re the manager of “Company” that’s been forced to pay your employees $17 an hour (no benefits, no PTO), which as a small but successful business you can’t afford. Despite the New Government’s efforts to overturn this (unconstitutional) law, it’s been a slow process. Consequently, you’ve lowered your own (salaried) pay from roughly $255/hour to $200/hour to make up for the loss. Just kidding – you fired 3 employees, leaving 2 to do the work of 5. Generously, you pay them $19/hour.

It’s Monday morning.

Time for work!

But first you open up the “TruPatriots4Amerikka” app on your TrumpPhone 2 – a news app made specifically to combat “fake news” – and scroll through today’s happenings. There’s a live feed of Sean Feucht starting an “Honesty Culture” movement. Generally, you believe Sean is a sinner because you’re a Bible literalist and the Bible literally forbids men from having long hair and wearing shorts (those things are for sodomite reprobates, obviously).

But “Honesty Culture” sounds a bit like “Purity Culture” and you’re a 47 year old virgin, still waiting on “The One,” (your first marriage to your rebellious Jezebel wife who divorced you (after you cheated on her with your 15 18 year old nanny) for not being joyfully available enough following the birth of her 11th child doesn’t count. After all, you were merely following in the footsteps of holy, sanctified men of God like Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard)

Any who, you listen to Sean’s livestream on “Honesty Culture” preached from capitol hill and Sean is *gasp* claiming those who steal are going to hell. Specifically those who commit wage theft. These thieves are the equivalent of chewed up gum spit on the ground and trampled by size 12 Merrell hiking boots, and what awaits them is endless hellfire and brimstone. Sean lists things such as not paying workers for overtime, forcing employees to do things that aren’t part of their job descriptions, making employees work through breaks, and discouraging workers to take paid leave as examples of wage theft. All things you have done.

Sean admits he’s guilty too as he’s wearing clothing made by the underpaid, sweat-soaked, blood-stained hands of exploited children in India; clothing he promptly rips off and throws into a flaming fire pit. Nude, he publicly repents for his blasé attitude towards stealing, citing verses such as Ezekiel 16:49,”Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy,” and Deuteronomy 15:11 where just as God commanded women to stay home and pump out babies for Jesus God commands believers to …open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.”

Suddenly, Sean cuts both his legs off with a golden chainsaw that falls from the sky. With his dying breathe, Sean reminds everyone of Jesus saying how it’s better to lose a limb, then for the whole body to go into hell, before encouraging all who have committed wage theft to cut their limbs off instead of falling into eternal damnation.

The livestream ends abruptly.

As a holy, fundamentalist, KJV-only, conservative, Bible believing Christian, (HFKJVOCBBC) the word “theft” appalls you given “thou shall not steal” is one of the Ten Commandments = the crème de la crop of commands! Surely, one of the many preachers you listen to on “TruPatriotsTube” – Trump’s version of YouTube he created after overthrowing the government in 2024 following another election lost due to voter fraud – anyway, surely those conservative Bible-believing preachers have railed about wage thieves. Especially as it’s one of the 10 Commandments written right besides “thou shall not illegally immigrate to the USA a foreign country”, “thou shall not use birth control,” and “thou shall worship America!” – things you’ve heard dozens of sermons on.

To your complete and utter shock, you find practically nothing except vaguely that Christians should support veterans and cops. Among the Steven Andersons, Owen Strachems, Voddie Bauchmans, even God Himself John MacArthur – they preach mainly on how the gays are going to hell, women preachers are going to hell, people who support abortion are going to hell, and how we’re in a war with “Brandon’s people” (who are also going to hell), etc. You even scroll social media thinking some of those Christian male influencers who post hot takes are talking about this. But Godly TruPatriotsTubers like Paul Olliges, Nate Sutton, or SolieOlie’s Husband are wangsting about vaccine mandates, traditional masculinity, dating and what they want in a woman (despite already being married), and how they’re thankful a Godly authoritarian leader who emulates Jesus Christ like Trump has taken over America and they can now legally shoot people who walk past their homes without fear of being “cancelled”. Things that God, strangely, failed to mention in the Bible.

Being the HFKJVOCBBC that you are, for the first time in your life you read the entire Bible upon which your identity is built. You’re positively flabbergasted to learn that injustice and not screwing over workers is not a left-ish agenda at all, but is mentioned many times by God (more than abortion and loving your country!). In fact, it was one of the main reasons the Old Testament God was so “angry” all the time. You feel immediately convicted and sell everything you have to the poor (because you take the Word of God literally and don’t cherry-pick). You go to the nearest Lowes, purchase a chainsaw, and began live streaming on TruPatiotsTube (from the backyard of the house you’ve just sold) where you publicly repent for your sin of indifference towards something God clearly views worth destroying nations for, before attempting to cut your arm off.

Unfortunately, you aren’t wearing glasses or contact lenses as you learned two years ago via the “AntiFakeNewzSearch” engine that poor eyesight is a lie created by the radical left to insert 5G chips containing small doses of the covid vaccine into your bloodstream via your pupils (which will also give you cancer and make you infertile unless you drink a gallon of raw milk mixed with essential oils daily), so you end up hitting your neck instead. Miraculously still alive, you’re left partially decapitated and bleeding on the ground. You humbly accept this fate, assuming this is divine punishment for firing David last year because he requested two days off work to mourn the death of his mother.

A neighbor – Jess, the sinful liberal Christian with sinfully short, blue hair (short hair on women is a sin) who sinfully works as a barista (women working is a sin) at a local coffee shop (also a sin as the coffee shop posted a black square supporting BLM seven years ago) + she isn’t married despite being 16 – sees you and calls an ambulance. Though she attempts to comfort you as you’re dying, you tell her that as a HFKJVOCBBC you cannot be in the presence of a girl child woman you aren’t married too as it causes you to have “unclean” thoughts, which you’re trying to avoid as you are near death and don’t want to go to hell for being impure. Jess doesn’t listen (perhaps unable to hear past the blood gurgling from your mouth) and continues telling you that “everything will be okay,” while gently caressing your hand as sirens wail mournfully in the distance.

RIP

The “anti-work” movement seems to be more like anti not getting paid for their work, pro-having-a-life-outside-of-work, and pro-being-able-to-pay-your-rent-and-bills-with-a-job, anti-abusive-managers, etc. which are not outrageous ideas. In fact, there is a strong Biblical argument for all these things, given exploitation of the poor and the wealthy using unjust means to gain wealth was a big reason God was mad in the Old Testament.

Leviticus 19:13-14 says, “[y]ou shall not oppress your neighbor or rob him. The wages of a hired worker shall not remain with you all night until the morning.” Malachi puts wage theft on the same level as crystals and good vibes sorcerers, adulterers, and witches i.e. “… I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hired worker in his wages, the widow and the fatherless, against those who thrust aside the sojourner, and do not fear me, says the Lord of hosts.”

Jeremiah 22 (NIV) says, (v.13)“woe to him who builds his palace by unrighteousness, his upper rooms by injustice, making his own people work for nothing, not paying them for their labor.” (v16) … Did not your father have food and drinks? He did what was right and just, so all went well with him. He defended the cause of the poor and needy and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?” declares the Lord.”

The Bible contains some pretty hash words for something the church generally has very little to say about. And like Christians will march against the government because they don’t want to wear a piece of cloth over their mouth before marching for living wages. The poor will always be among us, but as Christians it’s our obligation to take care of their needs. One way of doing that is to advocate for fair working conditions and fair wages.

Much like basically every secular movement that has filled gaps the church should’ve addressed long ago (civil rights, feminism), the anti-work movement is another such growing idea that took off during the pandemic in 2020. Advocating for the rights of the oppressed isn’t communistic liberal ideology though; it’s literally Biblical. Conservatism has so infiltrated and become synonymous with Christianity in America, many modern American Christians will oppose something merely because they perceive it as liberal even if they’re in opposition of what the Bible actually says – that’s why it’s important as Christians to actually read the Bible, and to not let your identity be “conservative” or “liberal” but “Biblical.”

God cares about equity and justice; He detests differing weights (Proverbs 20:23 NIV); the ESV calls “unequal weights” an abomination. Proverbs 29:27 labels the unjust man an abomination. One merely needs to look at the world around them to see there’s a problem. People shouldn’t be struggling to pay rent and buy groceries while working a full-time job, whilst those they work for buy mansions and yachts. School teachers shouldn’t be buying supplies out of their own pockets and having to work over the summer to pay their bills. Without workers, these companies wouldn’t even exist. If every essential employee (grocery workers, teachers, police, hospital staff, whoever keeps our internet/electricity running) went on an indefinite strike today, how fast do you think people would realize the value of their labor?

So should Christians be anti-work?

Probably. As Aristotle (or someone) said, “poverty is the parent of revolution and crime.” Eventually, something will give – just as it has in the past with various movements advocating for the rights of women, or POC. Hopefully, when the next movement rolls arounds, Christians will truly follow the Bible and be on the side of the oppressed. Even better, if we’d be at the forefront of these movements. It’s only what Gods commands, after all.

Biblical Hypocrisy: Christians Supporting Trump

If you call a spade a spade in January, then call that same spade a diamond in October simply because you need to play a diamond, people are going to view you as untrustworthy. They can look at that spade and clearly see it’s a spade. Not a diamond.

Politics isn’t a game of cards (though it sometimes feels that way). Nevertheless, it seems the Church has decided following Trump’s cult of personality is more important than following Jesus and adhering to Biblical values; anything else apparently makes you a heathen liberal out to take away their rights (much like President Trump is trying to strip away the rights of those who elected Biden).

To be clear, this isn’t a pro anyone post. But Christians strange worship of Trump and the Republican party, even when that party is blatantly doing and saying things that go directly against the Bible, is baffling (but also a good reminder to keep our eyes on Jesus and not one another). The Church has always been happy to call out liberals over their perceived sins, but where is this same energy for conservativism and theirs? How can we as a church dismiss racism, white supremacy, sexual abuse, and the oppressions of the poor while in the same breath bemoaning liberals over abortion and the sanctity of marriage, yet not see the hypocrisy in this?

You cannot claim to be the party of good morals when you’re just as flawed as the opposing party. Being a single issue voter isn’t good either, especially when doing so comes at the expense of other, equally important Biblical values. Claiming that God cares more about some issues over others is frankly not true. You may personally care about one issue more than another and cast a vote that way, but you are not God. He may have destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah over sexual indiscretion, but He was just as angry over Israel/Judah exploiting and oppressing the poor; profiting off the work of their neighbors while not paying them fairly, much like the Republican party does today with it’s promotion of capitalism as the end all, be all.

“Woe to him who builds his house by unrighteousness,
and his upper rooms by injustice,
who makes his neighbor serve him for nothing
and does not give him his wages,
who says, ‘I will build myself a great house
with spacious upper rooms,’
who cuts out windows for it,
paneling it with cedar
and painting it with vermilion.
Do you think you are a king
because you compete in cedar?
Did not your father eat and drink
and do justice and righteousness?
Then it was well with him.  He judged the cause of the poor and needy;
then it was well.
Is not this to know me?
declares the Lord.
But you have eyes and heart
only for your dishonest gain,
for shedding innocent blood,
and for practicing oppression and violence.” (Jeremiah 22:13-17)

That’s not to say the answer lies in the Democratic party, quite the opposite. Christians should not subscribe wholeheartedly to either party or any ideology as neither represents Jesus Christ and Basilica values well. One can vote for someone for one reason or another and still call those they vote for out on their injustice. Choosing the “lesser” of two evils doesn’t mean subscribing wholeheartedly to their ideology, particularly when that ideology generally is antithetical to the teachings of Jesus. We can and should point out injustice and sin on both sides, regardless of whom we voted for. But the Church’s refusal to do so is making us look hypocritical to the “secular” world and turning people away from Jesus.

We are His hands and feet, after all, and it’s up to us to represent Him. Does the Church truly believe Trump and the Republican party represents the teachings of Jesus Christ and Biblical values well? If your answer is yes, you might want to crack open your Bible.

I often wonder if we, as the Church, have done a good job representing Jesus over the past four years, or if one day we’ll have to answer to God as to why we wasted so much energy whining about masks and curfews, getting upset about some dude facetiously saying awoman, and trying to keep a political party in power, instead of feeding the poor, caring for those who are hurting, and preaching the gospel to those who need Jesus.