How to Make Your Wife Obey (Biblically, Of Course)

Somehow, I got sucked into the black vortex that is Christian Domestic Discipline. Given my proclivity for wickedness, naturally I was intrigued and instead of blogging or doing literally anything productive, I spent all night reading about this which…

Anyway, the rabbit hole led me to this dude, whom gave a decent answer to this question which is why I decided to highlight despite not being anyone relevant.

However, it got me thinking generally – why are Christian men marrying women whom they disagree with on just about everything that this is even an issue?

Christians generally put an inordinate amount of emphasis on the verse “wives submit to your husbands” whilst arguably the more important commandment, that husbands lay down their lives for their wives, is viewed as an after thought or even optional despite the fact it’s the other way around (given Biblically men are leaders and thus should be leading in terms of Christ-like behavior).

We have one Lord, Jesus Christ, whom we are to obey unquestioningly. Husbands are little more than leaders, or heads of their homes. A true leader leads by example, thus a husband should be exemplifying the fruits of the spirit (kindness, patience, gentleness, self-control, etc.) more than his family because that’s how the Bible commands Christians generally live. Furthermore, both Christian men and women should be submitted to God, so while there may be some arguments and differences that occur within a marriage as we’re all trash human, ultimately if both spouses are submitted to God, they have the same mission, to serve God, serve one another in love, and spread the gospel, and thus shouldn’t be clashing greatly over any issues.

However, the men posing this question are probably not talking about things like, “I want to pray every morning with my wife, but she’s always on her phone – how do I tell her she needs to spend more time with God?, or “I feel like God is calling me to take this job searching for the disease-riddled carcasses of polar bears in Antarctica, but my wife doesn’t want to live on a boat or near penguins for the next 20 years with out 4 kids.” There’s an insidious insinuation here because anyone asking this question is most likely referring to things the wife is not comfortable doing probably for valid reasons, which calls into question their own intentions in asking. A husband is the leader because he is to lead his wife and family closer to Christ, not force them to obey his carnal whims.

That stupid umbrella picture…

Is generally a poor metaphor and seems to ignore the fact that a.) allegiance to Christ and God’s word comes before obedience to a husband b.) men are also to take care of children also c.) there’s nothing that forbids women from providing for the family either. In fact, the Proverbs 31 woman is praised for being financially independent and using her skills and knowledge to benefit her family.

Furthermore, scripture goes out of the way to point out that bodily neither the husband nor wife belong to themselves, but to each other, “the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife.”

It’s interesting so many feminine, Christian influencers hyper focus on submission, and not the fact men are called to lay down their lives for their wives, putting aside their desires and needs. The issue of submission wouldn’t be the cesspool it currently is in the Church if Christian husbands focused more on leading by loving their wives as Christ loved his church and displaying the behavior they want their families to emulate. Never did Christ say, “how do I get Christians to obey me?” so why do men think they can even ask this in all seriousness, being far lesser than God? Rather, Jesus demonstrated His love and people were naturally drawn to follow Him because what they saw was a humble, compassionate, servant dedicated to the works of God.

Anyway, my homie 5th Kingdom gave the proper, Biblical answer which is there’s nothing a husband can do to make his wife obey except to, ya know, obey scripture themselves and love them as Christ loved the church, being willing to die for them and loving them as their own bodies.

Anyway – it’s sort of funny he randomly brings up 1st Peter where it says Sarah obeyed her husband Abraham, which is ironic because Sarah may have called Abraham Lord, but God told Abraham “[w]hatever Sarah says to you, do as she tells you, for through Isaac shall your offspring be named.” There are also other woman, like the Shunammite woman or Abigail, who did what God wanted them to do without consulting their husbands first. Clearly, Biblical submission isn’t blind, unquestioning obedience, nor does it strip women of their voice or authority.

Rather than focusing on non-issues like this, Christian men ought to ask themselves why they can hardly stand the site of literal children’s knees and shoulders at summer camp? Why did the church have a #metoo movement so prevalent it created a #churchtoo? Why is it I can Google “pastor” and “children” and no doubt, I’ll get a couple of news articles about yet another male pastor arrested for sexually assaulting a child? We are called to be holy, as God is holy. Not to be like the rest of the world.

Christians ought to be sober-minded and alert, and to most importantly read your Bible daily. We are all called to emulate Christ, who was patient, gentle, exhibited self-control, and was compassionate towards the weak. A Christ who invited women to sit at his feet and not worry about house work. A Christ who did not expect anything in return when he sacrificed Himself, laying down his life even for those who didn’t love Him.

Being able to maintain your character and adhere to Biblical values even when others around you are not, be they men or women, is the mark of a true leader and the pinnacle of Biblical masculinity.

Modesty Culture Creates Weak Men

Was gonna blog about this when it was actually relevant but… anyway TL;DR: Utah Pastor Brian_Sauve is triggered women have bodies and sometimes post pictures of them online (even while pregnant), the sight of which is too much for his Christian flesh to handle.

So why is Pastor Brian following women who are posting bikini pics online?

Second, of all the issues in the world pertaining to women he could, as a man speak up against, such as the prevalence of domestic abuse in the church and elsewhere, sexual assault/harassment so widespread in the church alone it created a #churchtoo movement, rape, human trafficking… it’s bikini pics this guy decides to be righteously upset about. I’m sure the fact women have breasts (that God Himself gave us) would definitely top the Lord’s “what am I flipping tables over today?” list.

Tellingly, Utah Pastor Brian quotes nay a scripture anywhere because the Bible never instructs women to cover up over a man’s lack of self-control. Rather, lust is an issue of the heart, not an issue of what one wears, and Jesus said, “[a]nd if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell,” (Matthew 5:29, KJV).

Scripturally (and I assume as a Christian pastor, he has read and believes in the Bible), if Pastor Brian Sauvé can’t handle seeing women in bikinis, he should gouge his own eyes out. Or perhaps less violently, stop going online. Get rid of a smartphone, personal computer, and social media, and like maybe stop following women online who post these sort of pictures? Living a Christian life often requires radically changing the way one lives – just look at how Jesus lived. Yet swaths of Christian men seem to believe in a gospel that says there’s no need to pursue holiness and cultivate discipline in themselves, or radically alter and inconvenience their lifestyles in order to live a Christian life, particularly in the area of male sexuality.

But this is simply untrue. Christian men are more than conquerors and nothing is impossible with Christ. Furthermore, Timothy entreats men to “treat younger women as sisters with all puritybut only if they’re covered from the neck up and Galatians says to put down your flesh and walk in the spirt except in the area of male sexuality. Believing men are incapable of leading as the Bible commands diminishes the confidence God has in a man’s ability to lead in all areas, including that of self-control and self-discipline.

There’s nothing inherently sexual about the female body anyway. In Genesis, it was only after sin that Adam and Eve realized they were naked. Modesty standards vary widely across cultures and have changed throughout history – even today, in certain places only prostitutes wear sleeveless shirts.

Brian’s wife in a sleeveless shirt (obviously not calling her a prostitute)

Society has so oversexualized the female body, men can scarcely look at young women (because I doubt Brian cares if 80 year old Grandmas post bathing suit pictures online) any longer without lust, even when that woman isn’t doing anything particularly sexual. Disturbingly, Christian men seem to struggle in this area even more than their secular counterparts, which should be a giant red flag over how successful purity culture has been. Modesty rules are like putting a Band-Aid over gangrene. No matter how much gauze one uses, there’s still a dying, rotten limb under there that needs to be cut off. Brian’s attitude here, while at first glance seems harmless enough and even reasonable for Christians, insidiously reflects the church’s attitude overall. A church that has been unwillingly to deal with lust from a spiritual perspective, shifting the blame on women, and even children, when men fail to have self-control around them.

Now, lest anyone actually read my blog and call me a heathen, there is something in not intentionally causing others to stumble and that can apply to how one dresses. Paul in 1 Corinthians 8 talks about eating idol meat sold at the markets. To some, this meat is cheap hamburger, so they feast and are #blessed. To others, weak in their faith, it makes them think of sacrificing to idols and they should avoid eating it entirely. Paul goes on to say that a Christian who eats this meat and causes his brother to stumble, is sinning against God and therefore Paul would never use his freedom in such a way (and neither should we).

But the caveat here is these idol meat eaters are weak Christians and Brian is a pastor. Someone so weak in their faith that the mere sight of a woman’s stomach leads him astray really ought to not be leading any church, anywhere, in any part of the world. Like every other day some pastor is caught in some form of sexual sin ranging from cheating to child abuse. And no wonder when we keep putting men still battling their flesh so badly they can’t even look at midriffs online up on pulpits, directly in the path of all sorts of spiritual attacks. Self-control is evidence of a walk with God and certainly every tree that doesn’t bear good fruit should be cut down and thrown into the fire, or at the very least not propped on a stage every Sunday.

Certainly, as Christian women we should be sympathetic towards Christian men navigating today’s hypersexualized world, remembering that our bodies are temples and also the internet is forever. However, women are not responsible for men’s sexual purity, nor is there a Biblical basis to demand women hide themselves because men are physical/lustful/visual/etc. First and foremost, we do all for the glory of God not man. Also, I have hormones and think men are hot, yet I don’t see him advocating men stop posting topless pics of their abs online to help my virgin self remain pure.

On a serious note, this attitude sets men up to believe they’re victims of their mindsets and biology, helpless to do anything except hope they never see cleavage not belonging to their wife in their lifetimes. It diminishes a man’s ability to remain pure within themselves for themselves, but we know that God would not task men with the burden of leadership if they were truly incapable of leading in all areas. Following Christ often requires radical change and even discomfort, something men like Brian rarely advocate for. Those seeking true freedom should be willing to inconvenience themselves to live as Jesus did, setting aside their desires and picking up their own crosses. Men are fully capable of leading in areas of purity, patience, and self-control. Believing otherwise is not believing the very Bible upon which Brian’s faith is built upon.

Anyway, Brian went on some tangent I couldn’t be bothered to read fully, where he said “Christian, you are no longer totally depraved.”

True.

Men are Christ’s workmanship, tasked with spiritual authority and are fully capable of walking in purity without the help of women. This isn’t some poisonous, feminist, anti-patriarchy agenda or whatever he’s whining about, this is straight from the Bible.

Christians ought to be sober minded and alert, and especially aware of what the Bible really says so we’re not swayed by those posting hot takes on social media for retweets. Turn to the Word of God, not wannabe Christian influencers. Test everything with scripture, not culture, tradition, or opinions.

At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with wearing a bikini, taking a belly pic of your growing child, or wearing leggings. The female body isn’t something women should be ashamed of, nor a thing that needs to be covered up and hidden out of fear because God has not called us to a spirit of fear. As women, we are created in the image of God with much care, thought, intention, and beauty and if God found something inherently sinful about how He created us, He would’ve covered us with fur or crocodile skin. So whatever you wear, wear it for the glory of God not man. And if that happens to help your brothers in Christ not stumble, *thumbs up*.

Christian Man Triggered Because Bodies Are Cool

Christian Influencer, Paul Olliges of the Morgan and Paul Show, is upset bodies are cool, which I guess is better than being jealous over your unborn child? Peak Biblical masculinity right there, folks.

Embarrassingly, I’ve been too preoccupied with video games, which obviously left me no time to blog. I was playing Sekiro but after dying literally one billion times I rage quit and then alas! Forbidden West came out so that was the end of me pretending I was going to do anything productive for the next few months. Fortunately, the weather is warming which means I’ll be hitting the trail more regularly and not sitting in front of a screen. What I’m really saying is – this annoyed me enough to rouse me from my gaming hermitage.

Interestingly, Paul’s reasoning for warning his followers against reading Bodies Are Cool to their kids is because it’s “aggressively” LGBT+whatever and non-binary, or something. Given this mere children’s book triggered him enough to post about it online, naturally I was curious to see what the book was about. Also, like honestly if he didn’t want people reading this he should’ve like… not posted about it? Truly, of all the problems in the world, is that really the worst thing your child could be learning about?

It took me 5 seconds to find this book online, which is about how long it would’ve taken him to actually read it.

Other than the person wearing a rainbow shirt at the end (which to preschool aged children and generally anyone who likes color literally means nothing) the book mentions nada about being gay or non-binary, or whatever, so… I’m confused at his claim the books is aggressively pro-lgbtq+ as that either indicates he didn’t actually read the book, or he’s lying (a sin) because he was getting too much smoke about it from his followers given the book is generally just about how different types of bodies with different hair types, skin colors and textures, disabilities, etc. are cool which is a pretty harmless message for kids.

Having seen the book’s contents, it’s obvious Paul construes the acknowledgement of women having body hair, which is pretty prominently displayed throughout the book, as some liberal ideology, which no. That’s not some non-binary agenda, that is literally how God made women… with hair on their legs, underarms, and sometimes faces. Society has convinced women these things are somehow wrong when God Almighty Himself put them there. So even though I wear make-up and shave lol, if we’re gonna be literal here, from a Biblical perspective, it makes the most sense for women to not wear make-up, nor shave because that is our natural state and how God made us. For a dude always going on and on about how not giving birth to children is unnatural and gonna end humanity and husbands taking their wives last name is wrong (which there is literally no Biblical basis for a wife to take a husband’s last name) he seems awfully cherry-pick-ish about which things he claims are natural and right.

The Bible says, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal,” the latter of which describes Paul Olliges. Almost everything he says wreaks of moral superiority and smugness, rather than humility and love. Humility is recognizing all of us fall short of the glory of God and need redemption as Romans 3:23 states, and that Paul is no holier than any unbeliever because of his actions, rather it is through Christ alone that he and all Christians are sanctified.

Unfortunately, modern Christians have chosen to roll around the mud with conservatives and sling dirt at liberals online for attention, therefore Paul will likely continue posting stuff like this in an attempt to be “anti-woke” instead of like Christ.