Rating Trash DCEU Movies

*Spoilers*

A decade late but whatever. I recently (as in over quarantine so not recently) suffered through Batman vs. Superman and decided to rate it. Also, I’m back on my posting thrice a week nonsense (lol).

All opinions are my own and my opinions are trash. However, my criteria basically is:

  1. No Because Plot
  2. No Glaring Plot Holes/Continuity Errors
  3. No lame, cringe unnatural dialogue (this includes uber woke sjw warrior dialogue and attempts at preaching to the audience via another character)
  4. Things must be shown and not told.
  5. Protagonists must go through some sort of character development, good or bad
  6. Female characters, if they are the protagonist, should not have a plot that revolves around a male character (unless it’s a romance).
  7. Characters cannot toss away every traditionally feminine or masculine trait solely for the sake of being woke

Man of Steel

  • set the ground work for what could have been a superior Man of Steel 2, or at least lead into a decent Batman solo movie.
  • score was fantastic
  • seeing super-powered beings beat each other up is fun.
  • Henry Cavill is hella f i n e.
  • Twas ok until it becomes a horror movie Zod is introduced.
  • Clark’s father going back for a dog and Superman not rescuing him made -0 sense. Sorry Sparky but bye. The directors show us multiple times Superman throwing caution to the wind by saving people, yet he’s really not gonna even try with his own dad????
    • This could’ve been easily remedied if they’d either showed young Clark repeatedly letting people die when he could’ve saved them (out of character, but consistent), or pulled something like Clark fails to save Pa because he hesitates for a second too long or whatever and a beam of wood hit his head. Didn’t fit his character that he was just like “oh no, I could save my dad but he said not too, so I’m just gonna stand here and watch him die because people might see me!!!”

The whole fight between Zod.

  • Why didn’t Supes try to get him out of Metropolis? I get it’s his third day on the job, but like just one-punch man him into space.
  • Why make out with Lois Lane instead of helping folks? There’s so much focus on religious/Christian imagery, but not enough Superman saving those around him, which is the core of Superman’s character. Again, this could’ve been remedied somewhat by showing Superman balancing saving people and fighting Zod, before realizing Zod’s just gonna keep trying to kill people unless he merks him. This could lead nicely into Superman snapping Zod’s neck.
  • Supes killing Zod – literally why move his head towards the family? Why was the family just sitting there screaming? Really, the writers couldn’t have at least corralled them into a corner or trapped them under some debris? Again, if the writers had shown Zod repeatedly killing people and Superman savingthem until realizing that he really was gonna have to kill Zod to get him to stop, this could build nicely into Zod’s kamikaze me speech and Supes deciding to kill him, since at that point Zod’s purpose for being alive was over and he probably really would have just kept causing chaos on Earth until he died.

This movie could have been an interesting take on Superman, who’s literally so perfect, good, and indestructible he veers into boring territory. If they’d amped up the idea of him struggling with wanting to help humanity because of his nature vs. wanting to live low-key for the sake of his parents and also feeling like humanity is generally trash for the way they’ve ostracized him, it could’ve been grand.

Also, they should’ve played up the whole Superman finding his people thing as that would have made him having to kill Zod actually sad. Despite it’s flaws, I still found Man of Steel enjoyable; however, I’m certain that’s simply because of Henry Cavill’s physical appearance.

Man of Steel Rating: 6.5/10

Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

A single conversation between Batman and Superman, which would have been about as long as their actual fight was, would have rendered BvS nonexistent.

  • Why did everyone blame Superman for what happened in Metropolis? Technically, he activated that ship or whatever that brought Zod here, but like that’s not what people were mad about. It’s clear the terraforming machine did the bulk of the damage to the city.
  • Why was Batman specifically so upset with Superman?
  • Why did Superman run away to sulk after that EMT said he needed space? I get Snyder was going for a Superman who needed to grow or whatever, but Superman wouldn’t mope on Lois’ window frame because his feelings got hurt. Furthermore, the EMT saying that didn’t even make sense given Superman was clearly helping get people from the building.
  • Why wasn’t the first words Superman said to Batman when he went to beat his #+% “Lex Luthor kidnapped my mother,” ????
  • Why did Superman say “save Martha” instead of “save my mother” ?????
  • Joker-lite Lex Luthor in general? (????)
  • How did Lois know to look for the spear?
  • Why didn’t Wonder Woman run the spear through Doomsday? She, with her super strength, uses a sword already and wouldn’t have been slowly dying whilst handling it.
  • Why was Doomsday even there?

First, we needed a Wonder Woman and Batman movie, maybe Man of Steel II.

A Batman movie or MoS II would serve to a.) introduce us to this Batman and give us a reason to care about him zipping under falling buildings stressed out b.) introduce us to Lex Luthor, who we’re just suppose to assume is very smart c.) develop the relationship between Lois and Superman.

Second, a more fitting title would’ve been Batman vs. Superman vs. Lex Luthor vs. The United States Military vs. The Media vs. The United States Government vs. Superman’s Nature vs. Doomsday: Dawn of Justice featuring Wonder Woman, with cameos from the Flash, Aquaman, and Darkseid.

Too much going on, which is precisely what a Batman solo movie/MoS II could have fixed.

In a Batman solo movie, the issue of superheroes having too much power could have been fleshed out with Batman doing his whole judge, jury, executioner deal in Gotham while dealing with the fall-out of the fight between Zod and Superman (the focus could’ve been like Batman vs. the Media/Government). Here, we could see why Batman had such a hate boner against Superman if we see Batman eventually allowing himself to be held accountable, yet feeling as if Supes is doing his own thing because he’s too powerful. Could even have Lex Luthor shoehorned in here as a villain because he acted like the Joker anyway this would allow us to see how exactly Lex is so smart.

Sadly, even rushed and sans other movies it potentially could have been ok if writers focused the first half of the movie on Batman and Superman being generally sus of each other with Lex trying to pit everyone against Superman whilst working on his blood sacrifice Doomsday/Zod reincarnation until Batman realizes he’s being played by Lex like everyone else thanks to Lois, too late as Lex has already used Kryptonite technology to bring Doomsday to life (Doomsday even being in this movie at all makes no sense).

Alas, that’s not what happened.

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice Rating: 3/10.

Justice League

  • The CGI was trash
  • The score was okay
  • The only character with personality was The Flash
  • Steppenwolf was lame, generic, and corny and if you don’t know anything about him from the comics, he makes absolutely no sense either
  • The humor was clearly an attempt to copy Marvel for money. They should’ve stuck with the darker tone and maybe let The Flash be some occasional comedic relief
  • The fight scenes were lame, like how are you going to have a bunch of superpowered beings mostly just punch one another

Again, would have benefitted from several movies involving these characters. And similar to BvS, the plot was totally unfocused and messy; the characters only come together because the plot needs them too, not because it makes any sense. They have almost no chemistry either, not even awkward we’re only here because we have to be chemistry.

The Snyder cut was a slow-motion version of the original movie. Sure, the CGI looked better and there were some nice scenes added, but the framework of the movie is not that good and while Snyder’s version was better, that’s mostly because the original version tried to do in 2 hours what needed to be done over like 5-6 movies, which was develop the characters enough that I cared to watch what they were doing.

That said, I do vaguely recall enjoying Justice League when I watched in it theaters. Probably because Henry Cavill, Jason Momoa, and Gal Gadot were in it

Justice League Rating: 4.5/10

Lack of humor isn’t the issue with these movies – they could’ve stuck with the darker, grittier tone because the superhero market is ripe for that, and not like The Boys and trashburn Brightburn edge lord dark (I like the Boys tbh), but something less comedic that explores what it means to be a superhero, how superheroes work with governments, how superheroes are held accountable, etc.

What’s missing here is character development. You have to make viewers care about your characters before throwing them into situations. Any movie can give us fight scenes and good visuals, but when viewers feel emotionally attached they’ll keep coming back. And when viewers simply like the characters themselves, they’re much more likely to overlook plot holes like these.

Anyway, Suicide Squad was also terrible, but I stopped watching that once whoever Cara’s character was became The Enchantress, so it would be disingenuous to rate it. The Joker was lame and over the top. Only good thing to come out of it was Harley Quinn and Will Smith’s character. Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Birds of Prey, and Shazam are not included as those were alright.

Rating the Female Characters in Euphoria

Imagine waking up one day to discover you’ve turned into a ladybug. Horrified, you flutter around frantically, slowly realizing you’re trapped in some sort of Kafka-esque nightmare. To make everything worst, you’re not even a large ladybug, the size of a human. You’re the size of an actual ladybug.

Your small size, unfortunately, leaves you defenseless when your parents enter the room to awaken you for school only to discover “human you” missing. They do, however, see “ladybug you” zipping around the room and your last memory is a shoe slamming your tiny body into the wall, crushing you into literal pieces.

You die.

Fortunately, you still have a human spirit so you awaken in the afterlife grateful, albeit confused.

What was the point of turning into a ladybug if I was going to be killed so quickly, you wonder.

Unlike The Metamorphosis of which Gregor Samsa lived long enough to span the length of a novella, your transformation and lifespan leaves you feeling a bit disappointed. You didn’t even live long enough to become some sort of commentary on society! Your transformation gave no birth to a deeper meaning, you’re only left wondering if “ladybug you” had any point at all, or God was simply trolling you.

That’s what watching Euphoria felt like.

Anyway, if something is evoking mass pearl-clutching among conservatives, I will assuredly watch it myself. That said, having seen Euphoria I wouldn’t recommend anyone watch it unless they want to either feel better about their own relatively, drama-free high school days, or they want to feel generally depressed and slightly disgusted at how literal children are being sexualized

Nevertheless, I need something to blog about.

*Spoilers*

All opinions are my own and my opinions are 100% trash. My criteria basically is:

  1. Their removal would affect the plot
  2. They undergo some change/character development, good or bad
  3. We see different sides of their personality
  4. They have a plot of their own that doesn’t revolve entirely around a male character. OR
  5. They are well-developed within the confines of the role they are written to play 
  6. They don’t toss away every traditionally feminine trait in an attempt to be a strong, independent womyn

Maddy Perez

  • gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss
  • literally going to get violent
  • “she will actually kill you”
  • not dating the worst fictional dude on television (Nate) but he’s def like top 75
  • was basically assaulted at 14 by a 40 year old but the show presents it as if she was in control (???)
  • Cassie’s bff LOL
  • former pageant girl
  • basically my spirit animal as I too do not really want to do anything but be showered with gifts for being attractive
  • “did you feel loved by me?”
  • actually crazy

Maddy is quite toxic, highlighted early on by the fact she lies about being a virgin in order to be with trash Nate, lies about being with Tyler, causing him to get clapped so badly he spends a week in the hospital and loses partial vision, and she lies about Nate assaulting her, so now Tyler’s in jail. She was also madly in love with Nate, who actually strangled her (after she flipped his mother off at the carnival in a Molly-induced haze). Her entire plot more or less revolves around their incredibly toxic relationship, breaking up, making each other jealous, fighting, getting back together, and playing Russian roulette.

Still, Maddy is a good friend to those around her and she’s able to discuss Nate’s sexuality without judgement in a way he can’t with anyone else. Her confidence is refreshing, especially among teen girls who are expected to be insecure, quiet, and unaware of how attractive they are. Maddy is pretty, she knows it, and she makes sure everyone else knows it too.

Maddy Rating: 9/10

Kat Hernandez

Euphoria's Kat Is Not the Fat Teenage Girl Trope You've Seen Before | Teen  Vogue
  • cam girl
  • was a virgin at the start of the show, definitely not one now
  • takes a lot of pride in wielding her sexual prowess
  • has a cute hair cut
  • great fashion sense
  • not feeling her healthy relationship with Ethan
  • just love yourself, queenie!
  • put on a boat

Kat is like a literal child doing web cam stuff??? And while I appreciate the body positivity message here, the narrative presents her foray into web camming as somehow empowering like yes queen, contribute to the sexualization of children online! (???) Granted, Euphoria seems to go out of its way not to sexualize her on screen which is shady given how blatant they are in this area with other characters.

Kat initially has a relatively good character arc though. From awkward, virgin big girl, to confident dominatrix who dresses well and can seduce any dude, to realizing she was being mean for no reason and finally getting with Ethan, to again realizing that none of those things fulfill her emotionally either… she goes through quite a bit of change… good and bad.

Kat Rating: 9/10

Maddy’s Mom

  • in a relationship with a man who literally does nothing
    • they don’t even talk with one another
  • insisted on pressing charges against Nate – like yas queen

Maddy’s mother, for better or for worst, has given Maddy the foundation for what she believes love should be like, which is passionate. Whether passionately intimate or violent, doesn’t matter. She represents one of the shows themes, which is how one’s parents can form their child’s worldview simply by existing.

Mrs. Perez’s Rating: McKay n Cassie Taking Goldfish Shots/10

Lexi Howard

jay 🌻 on Twitter | Bob ross, Euphoria, Hairstyles for thin hair
  • the definition of “there”
  • side kick energy
  • Rue’s childhood bff
  • writer extraordinaire
  • FEZCO
  • willing to take a piss for Rue
  • the good girl
  • Cassie’s sister
  • dressed like Bob Ross for a Halloween party
  • The play

Lexi seems comfortable enough in herself not to be swayed by the masses and hook up merely for the sake of it. Then the story flips that and is like actually Lexi is just an observer and she’s shy. Still, she shows how one can exist in a wild culture without sacrificing their own desires and well-being just to fit in.

She sort of has a thing with Fezco at the start of S2 before he claps Nate, and the potential couple is a breathe of fresh air tinged with the slight scent of weed and other drugs. Lexi isn’t much developed as a character compared to the others though, and while we see how the disappearance of their father affected Cassie, we don’t really see that as strongly in regards to Lexy until the play, which was still mostly about her friends.

Lexi Howard Rating: 7/10

Gia

  • Rue’s lil sis
  • found Rue overdosed
  • starting to basically emulate her sister

Gia Rating: 5/10

Nate’s Mom

  • is apparently weak
  • her husband is a pedo man-hoe
  • makes really good chili
  • only time I ever liked Nate was when he was talking with her

She may have been given a name, but I don’t remember it.

Nate’s Mom Rating: Ashtray Hammering Mouse at the End of Season 1/10

Cassie Howard

Euphoria star reveals she cut 'unnecessary' Cassie nude scenes
  • Oklahoma
  • daddy issues
  • she doesn’t cheat on McKay 100% despite wanting to
    • she wanted to tell McKay that she’d messed around with some other dudes, but was talked out of it by her friends
  • dated like the only semi-decent (42%) dude in the show (besides Ethan) aka McKay
  • hates being alone
  • slept with her bffs on/off again boyfriend, Nate
  • has several creepy encounters with older male relatives as a child, which the show just grazes over as if this isn’t disgusting
  • wanted to be a figure skater
  • really loved her father
  • wakes up at 4 am to get dresses, only for Nate to only pay
  • attention when she’s dressed like Maddy lol
  • Is cRaZiEr tHaN MaDdY

Cassie has a sad past, with a father who essentially ghosted her, causing her to have trouble being alone and thus seek out men to fill that desire for companionship. Consequently, Cassie is sexual even to her own detriment, because that’s predictably what all the teen boys around her want her to be. This is highlighted best when McKay is pouring his heart and soul out about running through the 6 with his woes, and she’s groping him. She literally can’t relate to men without making it sexual, which becomes an issue when Nate gives her a ride.

Of all the characters on Euphoria, Cassie is the most unnecessarily sexualized. She is a literal child and the presentation of her sexuality feels exploitative, rather than an acknowledgement that teen girls have a sex drive. Nevertheless, it’s those traits that also make her relatable. Cassie is a sensitive, traditionally feminine gal in the midst of a culture that doesn’t value the things she desires, which is stability, love, and affection, highlighted best when she tells McKay she just wanted to pretend she was going to have the baby and in her stubborn pursuit of Nate.

Cassie Rating: 9.5/10

Jules Vaughn

Euphoria Part Two: Jules premiere date announced at HBO
  • Jewel
  • manic pixie girl
  • pretty great sense of fashion
  • always riding a bike
  • bffs with Rue… sort of?
    • left her at the train station lol
  • was cat fished by Nate… sort of (?) then blackmailed into helping him
  • has a dark and troubled past, having been institutionalized by a crazy mother
  • one of the few characters with a decent father relationship
  • gets into several incredibly dumb situations like I’m not even gonna talk about Cal but like literally who meets some dude they have never even seen pictures of at night, by a lake in the middle of the woods, alone?
  • tries to bone Elijah/the dude who sang to Rue for 40 minutes
  • genuinely cares about Rue, just it probs wasn’t a good idea to flush 8k of drugs down a toilet
  • wasn’t gonna expose Cal

Jules is not a good friend. Like who ghosts someone for a week and can’t even be bothered to text them back lol. Generally, Jules’ characterization presents a problematic idea that peak femininity is achieved in convincing mostly straight men to have sex with you as if a woman’s highest value rests in her ability to get laid, which is lowkey offensive. Also Jules is a literal child. For a show that claims to be liberal, they use a lot of dumb tropes (granted the show does have Anna (?) call her out on this… sort of).

When Nate was giving Rue his Jules is going somewhere speech I was like “homeboy, what?” Because Jules is a butterfly, aimlessly drifting about, who exists to give Rue temporary joy and to be blackmailed. Apart from those things, error 404: character arc not found.

Jules Rating: 7.1/10

Rue Bennett

Anyone Else Obsessed With Rue's Style In 'Euphoria'? | British Vogue
  • great hair
  • “Ruby Bennett”
  • everyone thought she died when she OD’d
  • always dressed comfortably
  • not very sexual but it’s not presented negatively
  • actually almost dies several times (overdose, meeting Bald Tattoo Dude, playing frogger with the cops)
  • platonic relationship with local drug-dealer, Fezco
  • sad past (dad died of cancer, struggled with several disabilities)
  • drugs
  • had 0 intentions of staying clean when she got out of rehab
  • my dude Ali was looking out for Rue, but she shaded him badly
  • carried around a whole suitcase of drugs

Rue is a sort of recovering drug-addict who falls in love with her bffl Jules, who is a partial catalyst for her recovery. Unfortunately, Rue needs a rock – something stable and always there. Jules is a butterfly, nice to look at but aimlessly flitting around. The relationship was doomed because they are fundamentally incompatible with, and also they are children lacking the ability to just communicate their individual needs with each other. Furthermore, Rue has no desire herself to remain clean and only does so temporarily for the sake of Jules, which is an unfair burden to place on anyone.

Of all the characters, Rue is the most selfish, regularly engaging in the most reckless, devil-may-care attitude because she truly dgaf. Those who say Euphoria glorifies drug abuse are tripping as Rue’s story shines a light on the reality of drug addiction, how difficult it is to break away from it, and the impact it has on those around them. All of which are presented negatively. Unfortunately, Rue doesn’t really want to be clean because she’s happiest when she high. And for a brief moment, she was able to feel that high with Jules.

Sadly, with Rue owing resident HBIC drug lord Laurie who also seems to be high-key trying to traffic her, it seems like there’s nowhere to hit but rock bottom, and even then one can still be buried 6 feet under. Only time will tell whether she ends up staying clean in season three, or nah.

Rue Rating: 10/10

There are characters I’ve missed like Rue’s mom, Faye, Fezco’s thug grandmother, Laurie, Vape Girl, Suze, etc. but honestly this is already too long.

Manga Analysis: Zombies & Cults in Fort of Apocalypse

I recently read Fort of Apocalypse (Apocalypse no Toride) and figured since this is a Christian blog (lol), why not combine my two favorite things? Those things being Jesus and horror, specifically zombies. The Bible is actually full of a lot of violence and gore; people are burned alive, dismembered, impaled with tent poles…

*some spoilers*

Fort of Apocalypse is about a child, Maeda, falsely accused of murder and consequently sent to prison. Things are already not vibing for him when the world is overcome with zombies that quickly eradicate any sense of normalcy, and most of humanity, leaving the prison as one of the few safe havens.

The story begins as a pretty typical-ish zombie tale of Maeda ft. his squad trying to survive. Except the zombies move as giant zombie pillars controlled by the Bokor, who is like an advanced zombie with mega lungs and 5475489 pupils. There are (fight or flight warning: click at your own risk) zombie dogs and zombie seals. Truly an aesthetic. Maeda himself turns out to be a Bokor, with the ability to control the zombies, after one of them goes yandere and tries to eat him.

Notably, there’s a religious quack who manages to convince others, including a young woman named Daisy trapped on a yacht with a bunch of zombies, the zombies are actually angels and the Bokor is Jesus. Ideas that are bolstered by the fact that, when they step onto land, the zombies ignore them, solidifying their belief the Bokor is the Child of Light.

Even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, there’s always that one overly spiritual mf.

They also somehow manage to out-woke probably the most wokest of the woke by claiming zombies have rights.

woke level: infinity

The Child of Light Cult is introduced via Daisy and Corporal Hatt, when they arrive at the prison. Daisy and Hatt cosplay as military and promise the prisoners safety, lying to them about their families being alive and well. In reality, they’re just looking for many-pupiled Jesus the Bokor whom they believe is among the prisoners. Hatt initially comes off as a kind, fatherly figure, very similar to how Jim Bob Duggar cult leaders portray themselves as kind overseers of benign patriarchy trying to shepherd their sheep into Heaven. However, the actual, literal second it becomes clear Maeda is also a Bokor, homeboy drops all pretenses, assaults Maeda, and reveals himself to be a man only concerned with gaining immortality and power. When that doesn’t work out, Hatt ditches Daisy, leaving her at the mercy of hoards of angry men, in jail for various crimes, who have just been lied to about their families and haven’t seen a woman eons.

While Corporal Hatt is the cult’s leader, Daisy, a young, conventionally, attractive woman, does most of the speaking which I found interesting. I’ve blogged about the danger of women like Mrs. Midwest who cushion their harmful, nonsense ideologies like the red pill with cherry-picked Bible verses because they’re pretty, well- spoken, and palatable to those who aren’t extremely radical in their beliefs, which is precisely why she’s dangerous. Women like Mrs. Midwest are far more effective at propagating cult-ish ideas, despite their danger, because they cushion these ideas with fun stuff like baking, wearing dresses, being kind and motherly, i.e. good things that are worthy of pursuing.

Daisy too functions as the cults face, despite the fact she isn’t actually the leader and is left behind by the man who was suppose to take care of her. I could list other prominent super conservative women, like Tomi Lahren, Lauren Southern, Lauren Chen too but similar to how these women have been attacked by their own bases for not living up to what alt-right men claims is the ideal, feminine women, Daisy is abandoned by Corporal Hatt as soon as she’s objectively no longer useful to him.

I don’t actually have anything deep to say on this topic, but I found the comparison interesting.

Any who, while I would in no way encourage anyone to read Fort of Apocalypse because it’s pretty violent, dark, and gory (so obviously I loved it), it does illuminate how cults are often born in dire circumstances and how the men in them are happy to prop up young women, so long as those women say and do exactly what they want. But the moment those women are no longer useful to their cause (and rarely does that cause have anything to do with God’s will, so much as it is about fulfilling these men’s desires for power), their true colors come out. They aren’t really kind, fatherly figures wanting to lead their followers to salvation, but selfish individuals interested only in self-gain. Quite the opposite of what the Bible says leadership really is.

As for Fort of Apocalypse itself, it’s full of action, bromance, and scary critters. So if you’re looking to have nightmares about zombie dogs, or if you have a high-tolerance for creepy things, this is the manga for you.

Fort of Apocalypse Rating: 7.1/10