How to Make Your Wife Obey (Biblically, Of Course)

Somehow, I got sucked into the black vortex that is Christian Domestic Discipline. Given my proclivity for wickedness, naturally I was intrigued and instead of blogging or doing literally anything productive, I spent all night reading about this which…

Anyway, the rabbit hole led me to this dude, whom gave a decent answer to this question which is why I decided to highlight despite not being anyone relevant.

However, it got me thinking generally – why are Christian men marrying women whom they disagree with on just about everything that this is even an issue?

Christians generally put an inordinate amount of emphasis on the verse “wives submit to your husbands” whilst arguably the more important commandment, that husbands lay down their lives for their wives, is viewed as an after thought or even optional despite the fact it’s the other way around (given Biblically men are leaders and thus should be leading in terms of Christ-like behavior).

We have one Lord, Jesus Christ, whom we are to obey unquestioningly. Husbands are little more than leaders, or heads of their homes. A true leader leads by example, thus a husband should be exemplifying the fruits of the spirit (kindness, patience, gentleness, self-control, etc.) more than his family because that’s how the Bible commands Christians generally live. Furthermore, both Christian men and women should be submitted to God, so while there may be some arguments and differences that occur within a marriage as we’re all trash human, ultimately if both spouses are submitted to God, they have the same mission, to serve God, serve one another in love, and spread the gospel, and thus shouldn’t be clashing greatly over any issues.

However, the men posing this question are probably not talking about things like, “I want to pray every morning with my wife, but she’s always on her phone – how do I tell her she needs to spend more time with God?, or “I feel like God is calling me to take this job searching for the disease-riddled carcasses of polar bears in Antarctica, but my wife doesn’t want to live on a boat or near penguins for the next 20 years with out 4 kids.” There’s an insidious insinuation here because anyone asking this question is most likely referring to things the wife is not comfortable doing probably for valid reasons, which calls into question their own intentions in asking. A husband is the leader because he is to lead his wife and family closer to Christ, not force them to obey his carnal whims.

That stupid umbrella picture…

Is generally a poor metaphor and seems to ignore the fact that a.) allegiance to Christ and God’s word comes before obedience to a husband b.) men are also to take care of children also c.) there’s nothing that forbids women from providing for the family either. In fact, the Proverbs 31 woman is praised for being financially independent and using her skills and knowledge to benefit her family.

Furthermore, scripture goes out of the way to point out that bodily neither the husband nor wife belong to themselves, but to each other, “the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife.”

It’s interesting so many feminine, Christian influencers hyper focus on submission, and not the fact men are called to lay down their lives for their wives, putting aside their desires and needs. The issue of submission wouldn’t be the cesspool it currently is in the Church if Christian husbands focused more on leading by loving their wives as Christ loved his church and displaying the behavior they want their families to emulate. Never did Christ say, “how do I get Christians to obey me?” so why do men think they can even ask this in all seriousness, being far lesser than God? Rather, Jesus demonstrated His love and people were naturally drawn to follow Him because what they saw was a humble, compassionate, servant dedicated to the works of God.

Anyway, my homie 5th Kingdom gave the proper, Biblical answer which is there’s nothing a husband can do to make his wife obey except to, ya know, obey scripture themselves and love them as Christ loved the church, being willing to die for them and loving them as their own bodies.

Anyway – it’s sort of funny he randomly brings up 1st Peter where it says Sarah obeyed her husband Abraham, which is ironic because Sarah may have called Abraham Lord, but God told Abraham “[w]hatever Sarah says to you, do as she tells you, for through Isaac shall your offspring be named.” There are also other woman, like the Shunammite woman or Abigail, who did what God wanted them to do without consulting their husbands first. Clearly, Biblical submission isn’t blind, unquestioning obedience, nor does it strip women of their voice or authority.

Rather than focusing on non-issues like this, Christian men ought to ask themselves why they can hardly stand the site of literal children’s knees and shoulders at summer camp? Why did the church have a #metoo movement so prevalent it created a #churchtoo? Why is it I can Google “pastor” and “children” and no doubt, I’ll get a couple of news articles about yet another male pastor arrested for sexually assaulting a child? We are called to be holy, as God is holy. Not to be like the rest of the world.

Christians ought to be sober-minded and alert, and to most importantly read your Bible daily. We are all called to emulate Christ, who was patient, gentle, exhibited self-control, and was compassionate towards the weak. A Christ who invited women to sit at his feet and not worry about house work. A Christ who did not expect anything in return when he sacrificed Himself, laying down his life even for those who didn’t love Him.

Being able to maintain your character and adhere to Biblical values even when others around you are not, be they men or women, is the mark of a true leader and the pinnacle of Biblical masculinity.

Rating the Female Characters in Euphoria

Imagine waking up one day to discover you’ve turned into a ladybug. Horrified, you flutter around frantically, slowly realizing you’re trapped in some sort of Kafka-esque nightmare. To make everything worst, you’re not even a large ladybug, the size of a human. You’re the size of an actual ladybug.

Your small size, unfortunately, leaves you defenseless when your parents enter the room to awaken you for school only to discover “human you” missing. They do, however, see “ladybug you” zipping around the room and your last memory is a shoe slamming your tiny body into the wall, crushing you into literal pieces.

You die.

Fortunately, you still have a human spirit so you awaken in the afterlife grateful, albeit confused.

What was the point of turning into a ladybug if I was going to be killed so quickly, you wonder.

Unlike The Metamorphosis of which Gregor Samsa lived long enough to span the length of a novella, your transformation and lifespan leaves you feeling a bit disappointed. You didn’t even live long enough to become some sort of commentary on society! Your transformation gave no birth to a deeper meaning, you’re only left wondering if “ladybug you” had any point at all, or God was simply trolling you.

That’s what watching Euphoria felt like.

Anyway, if something is evoking mass pearl-clutching among conservatives, I will assuredly watch it myself. That said, having seen Euphoria I wouldn’t recommend anyone watch it unless they want to either feel better about their own relatively, drama-free high school days, or they want to feel generally depressed and slightly disgusted at how literal children are being sexualized

Nevertheless, I need something to blog about.

*Spoilers*

All opinions are my own and my opinions are 100% trash. My criteria basically is:

  1. Their removal would affect the plot
  2. They undergo some change/character development, good or bad
  3. We see different sides of their personality
  4. They have a plot of their own that doesn’t revolve entirely around a male character. OR
  5. They are well-developed within the confines of the role they are written to play 
  6. They don’t toss away every traditionally feminine trait in an attempt to be a strong, independent womyn

Maddy Perez

  • gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss
  • literally going to get violent
  • “she will actually kill you”
  • not dating the worst fictional dude on television (Nate) but he’s def like top 75
  • was basically assaulted at 14 by a 40 year old but the show presents it as if she was in control (???)
  • Cassie’s bff LOL
  • former pageant girl
  • basically my spirit animal as I too do not really want to do anything but be showered with gifts for being attractive
  • “did you feel loved by me?”
  • actually crazy

Maddy is quite toxic, highlighted early on by the fact she lies about being a virgin in order to be with trash Nate, lies about being with Tyler, causing him to get clapped so badly he spends a week in the hospital and loses partial vision, and she lies about Nate assaulting her, so now Tyler’s in jail. She was also madly in love with Nate, who actually strangled her (after she flipped his mother off at the carnival in a Molly-induced haze). Her entire plot more or less revolves around their incredibly toxic relationship, breaking up, making each other jealous, fighting, getting back together, and playing Russian roulette.

Still, Maddy is a good friend to those around her and she’s able to discuss Nate’s sexuality without judgement in a way he can’t with anyone else. Her confidence is refreshing, especially among teen girls who are expected to be insecure, quiet, and unaware of how attractive they are. Maddy is pretty, she knows it, and she makes sure everyone else knows it too.

Maddy Rating: 9/10

Kat Hernandez

Euphoria's Kat Is Not the Fat Teenage Girl Trope You've Seen Before | Teen  Vogue
  • cam girl
  • was a virgin at the start of the show, definitely not one now
  • takes a lot of pride in wielding her sexual prowess
  • has a cute hair cut
  • great fashion sense
  • not feeling her healthy relationship with Ethan
  • just love yourself, queenie!
  • put on a boat

Kat is like a literal child doing web cam stuff??? And while I appreciate the body positivity message here, the narrative presents her foray into web camming as somehow empowering like yes queen, contribute to the sexualization of children online! (???) Granted, Euphoria seems to go out of its way not to sexualize her on screen which is shady given how blatant they are in this area with other characters.

Kat initially has a relatively good character arc though. From awkward, virgin big girl, to confident dominatrix who dresses well and can seduce any dude, to realizing she was being mean for no reason and finally getting with Ethan, to again realizing that none of those things fulfill her emotionally either… she goes through quite a bit of change… good and bad.

Kat Rating: 9/10

Maddy’s Mom

  • in a relationship with a man who literally does nothing
    • they don’t even talk with one another
  • insisted on pressing charges against Nate – like yas queen

Maddy’s mother, for better or for worst, has given Maddy the foundation for what she believes love should be like, which is passionate. Whether passionately intimate or violent, doesn’t matter. She represents one of the shows themes, which is how one’s parents can form their child’s worldview simply by existing.

Mrs. Perez’s Rating: McKay n Cassie Taking Goldfish Shots/10

Lexi Howard

jay 🌻 on Twitter | Bob ross, Euphoria, Hairstyles for thin hair
  • the definition of “there”
  • side kick energy
  • Rue’s childhood bff
  • writer extraordinaire
  • FEZCO
  • willing to take a piss for Rue
  • the good girl
  • Cassie’s sister
  • dressed like Bob Ross for a Halloween party
  • The play

Lexi seems comfortable enough in herself not to be swayed by the masses and hook up merely for the sake of it. Then the story flips that and is like actually Lexi is just an observer and she’s shy. Still, she shows how one can exist in a wild culture without sacrificing their own desires and well-being just to fit in.

She sort of has a thing with Fezco at the start of S2 before he claps Nate, and the potential couple is a breathe of fresh air tinged with the slight scent of weed and other drugs. Lexi isn’t much developed as a character compared to the others though, and while we see how the disappearance of their father affected Cassie, we don’t really see that as strongly in regards to Lexy until the play, which was still mostly about her friends.

Lexi Howard Rating: 7/10

Gia

  • Rue’s lil sis
  • found Rue overdosed
  • starting to basically emulate her sister

Gia Rating: 5/10

Nate’s Mom

  • is apparently weak
  • her husband is a pedo man-hoe
  • makes really good chili
  • only time I ever liked Nate was when he was talking with her

She may have been given a name, but I don’t remember it.

Nate’s Mom Rating: Ashtray Hammering Mouse at the End of Season 1/10

Cassie Howard

Euphoria star reveals she cut 'unnecessary' Cassie nude scenes
  • Oklahoma
  • daddy issues
  • she doesn’t cheat on McKay 100% despite wanting to
    • she wanted to tell McKay that she’d messed around with some other dudes, but was talked out of it by her friends
  • dated like the only semi-decent (42%) dude in the show (besides Ethan) aka McKay
  • hates being alone
  • slept with her bffs on/off again boyfriend, Nate
  • has several creepy encounters with older male relatives as a child, which the show just grazes over as if this isn’t disgusting
  • wanted to be a figure skater
  • really loved her father
  • wakes up at 4 am to get dresses, only for Nate to only pay
  • attention when she’s dressed like Maddy lol
  • Is cRaZiEr tHaN MaDdY

Cassie has a sad past, with a father who essentially ghosted her, causing her to have trouble being alone and thus seek out men to fill that desire for companionship. Consequently, Cassie is sexual even to her own detriment, because that’s predictably what all the teen boys around her want her to be. This is highlighted best when McKay is pouring his heart and soul out about running through the 6 with his woes, and she’s groping him. She literally can’t relate to men without making it sexual, which becomes an issue when Nate gives her a ride.

Of all the characters on Euphoria, Cassie is the most unnecessarily sexualized. She is a literal child and the presentation of her sexuality feels exploitative, rather than an acknowledgement that teen girls have a sex drive. Nevertheless, it’s those traits that also make her relatable. Cassie is a sensitive, traditionally feminine gal in the midst of a culture that doesn’t value the things she desires, which is stability, love, and affection, highlighted best when she tells McKay she just wanted to pretend she was going to have the baby and in her stubborn pursuit of Nate.

Cassie Rating: 9.5/10

Jules Vaughn

Euphoria Part Two: Jules premiere date announced at HBO
  • Jewel
  • manic pixie girl
  • pretty great sense of fashion
  • always riding a bike
  • bffs with Rue… sort of?
    • left her at the train station lol
  • was cat fished by Nate… sort of (?) then blackmailed into helping him
  • has a dark and troubled past, having been institutionalized by a crazy mother
  • one of the few characters with a decent father relationship
  • gets into several incredibly dumb situations like I’m not even gonna talk about Cal but like literally who meets some dude they have never even seen pictures of at night, by a lake in the middle of the woods, alone?
  • tries to bone Elijah/the dude who sang to Rue for 40 minutes
  • genuinely cares about Rue, just it probs wasn’t a good idea to flush 8k of drugs down a toilet
  • wasn’t gonna expose Cal

Jules is not a good friend. Like who ghosts someone for a week and can’t even be bothered to text them back lol. Generally, Jules’ characterization presents a problematic idea that peak femininity is achieved in convincing mostly straight men to have sex with you as if a woman’s highest value rests in her ability to get laid, which is lowkey offensive. Also Jules is a literal child. For a show that claims to be liberal, they use a lot of dumb tropes (granted the show does have Anna (?) call her out on this… sort of).

When Nate was giving Rue his Jules is going somewhere speech I was like “homeboy, what?” Because Jules is a butterfly, aimlessly drifting about, who exists to give Rue temporary joy and to be blackmailed. Apart from those things, error 404: character arc not found.

Jules Rating: 7.1/10

Rue Bennett

Anyone Else Obsessed With Rue's Style In 'Euphoria'? | British Vogue
  • great hair
  • “Ruby Bennett”
  • everyone thought she died when she OD’d
  • always dressed comfortably
  • not very sexual but it’s not presented negatively
  • actually almost dies several times (overdose, meeting Bald Tattoo Dude, playing frogger with the cops)
  • platonic relationship with local drug-dealer, Fezco
  • sad past (dad died of cancer, struggled with several disabilities)
  • drugs
  • had 0 intentions of staying clean when she got out of rehab
  • my dude Ali was looking out for Rue, but she shaded him badly
  • carried around a whole suitcase of drugs

Rue is a sort of recovering drug-addict who falls in love with her bffl Jules, who is a partial catalyst for her recovery. Unfortunately, Rue needs a rock – something stable and always there. Jules is a butterfly, nice to look at but aimlessly flitting around. The relationship was doomed because they are fundamentally incompatible with, and also they are children lacking the ability to just communicate their individual needs with each other. Furthermore, Rue has no desire herself to remain clean and only does so temporarily for the sake of Jules, which is an unfair burden to place on anyone.

Of all the characters, Rue is the most selfish, regularly engaging in the most reckless, devil-may-care attitude because she truly dgaf. Those who say Euphoria glorifies drug abuse are tripping as Rue’s story shines a light on the reality of drug addiction, how difficult it is to break away from it, and the impact it has on those around them. All of which are presented negatively. Unfortunately, Rue doesn’t really want to be clean because she’s happiest when she high. And for a brief moment, she was able to feel that high with Jules.

Sadly, with Rue owing resident HBIC drug lord Laurie who also seems to be high-key trying to traffic her, it seems like there’s nowhere to hit but rock bottom, and even then one can still be buried 6 feet under. Only time will tell whether she ends up staying clean in season three, or nah.

Rue Rating: 10/10

There are characters I’ve missed like Rue’s mom, Faye, Fezco’s thug grandmother, Laurie, Vape Girl, Suze, etc. but honestly this is already too long.

2025, The World Enslaved by Poor Writers

“What Did Corona Do To Jesus?!”

“Nothing!”

Goofy A-HYUCK! | Goofy, Mickey and friends, Pluto the dog

I recently-ish watched 2025, A World Enslaved by A Virus. Christian cinema is generally terrible and this was no exception. However, I love a good wild conspiracy theory movie because the government is generally trash and so am I, so obviously trash movies appeal to me.

That said, these types of fundamentalist persecution movies always overlook blatant, obvious corruption in favor of obscure theories about blood drinking democratic vampires building child-trafficking colonies on Mars which like did every conservative conveniently forget Nathan Larson, a pro-pedophilia, pro-incest, pro-rape, white supremist ran for the Republican party of conservative family values? Roy Moore was a Republican. Trump called his own daughter hot. Matt Gaetz??? Like we really do not need to make up absurd theories to see neither party has the moral high-ground over this issue, nor do they care about the well-being of children.

Anyway, I’m not gonna pretend I watched this entire movie, which honestly negates this review, but I’m trying to get back into blogging 3x a week after taking a Forbidden West induced hiatus and this is all I could think of blogging about on a rainy, Wednesday night.

*Spoilers*

2025 shockingly takes place in the year 2025, which if it had been set in like 2035 maybe I’d buy it, but everyone speaks fluent English? In 3 years? Nah, fam.

The movie begins with Glasses Dude being arrested for vague reasons by cops who cannot shoot a gun. Soon, Glasses Dude reminisces with Cop 1, because the government has banned weddings, concerts, and ice cream. Next, there’s about 20 minutes of them talking poor English in a dark room, which normally I wouldn’t comment on but like the directors are German and chose to make a movie in English. The ban on everything presumably explains why it’s always raining and no one is out on the streets as I assume the government has also banned umbrellas and raincoats, forcing people to stay indoors.

We meet Some Woman and they’re in someone’s house. At this point, I still don’t know anyone’s names, nor their relation to each other, and the movie is so dark I can’t really make out anyone’s faces. However, I do know one of the dudes in this movie was dating his wife when she was under aged, which since this movie is generally about the decay of morality in society, that seems kinda sus. Anyway, they preach again for 20 minutes, then spray paint fishes in the Woods and tunnels. Even now, there are droves of anti-vax Christians roaming around the Woods and tunnels of Germany, so this make tons of sense. Like they already have a rubric for this sort of religious censorship via China, North Korea, and Russia, but I guess writing fanfiction is a lot more interesting than creating anything based on reality?

Some Woman ft. Glasses Dudes 1 & 2

Anyway, while spray painting trees they’re attacked by Cop 2. Some Woman is shot and Glasses Dude abandons her; like homeboy really dipped after all that preaching.

A wild Blond Mask appears. He saves Some Woman and they all run off. Scene change! A random person sits in a green room while electric music plays in the background, reading stuff on Wikipedia. Obviously a hacker despite only being capable of Googling information.

This person turns out to be Holly the Hacker who wants to help. Rather than just say that, we get a 10 minute conversation repeating information we’ve already heard, which is that Holly wishes she could experience things like eating ice cream. I’m confused – it’s been 5 years since 2020. Has Holly never been to a concert or the beach ever in her entire life?

Holly the Hacker can hack all the phones of Christians in Germany, or the world (?), presumably because there’s an online database of (German?) Christians listing their phone numbers publicly for the government (who’s banned Christianity) to peruse. Seriously, why isn’t this database being used to burn Christians at the stake?

Oh by the way there is Curly Blonde in some side plot who is eating muesli and presumably warm milk that was left out overnight.

Anyway, Glasses Dude gives yet another sermon from atop a truck to about 5 people on how sad the world is, ruled by communists and the government, even saying the government decides when “they should die,” and their children are taken from them. Again, this is the same dude who was apparently dating a child at 14 while fully an adult so again… just a bit sus, my brother.

Side note: English is the global language – why does that stop people from speaking German in private with one another?

Anyway, we get a nice sequence of Glasses Dude and Some Other (?) Woman flirtatiously walking around some ruins as various places on the world go red.

Even with the world ending, gotta get laid!

We get another 15 minute conversation/sermon where my ability to suspend my disbelief fizzled because they’re handing each other CDs. Really? Not even USBs?

Anyway, this is where I decided I’d rather die for the 509th time in Sekiro over finishing this movie. I let it play in the background and apparently after the same car chase we saw in the beginning, he’s taken out into the woods and shot at night. I thought Christianity was illegal, so what’s the need for all this secrecy?

The movie could’ve possibly been coherent if they’d hired decent actors, hired a decent script writer, utilized far more subtlety, and framed it as an issue of government overreach rather than as Christian fundamentalist persecution fanfiction. It would still be whack but at least plausible because being told to wear masks and get vaccinated are not examples of persecution. No doubt the writers of the Bible, who were sawn in half, stoned, and stabbed to death with swords for preaching the gospel, are surely trying to get God to amend the Bible ASAP to add “cancel culture” and “vaccine/mask mandates” to the list of things early day Christians were martyred over.

Anyway, I’ve had dreams about being a gold fish stuck in the land of World War Z with less plot holes than this.

2025: The World Enslaved By a Virus Rating: 2.2/10