The Transformed Wife Is Still Wrong: On Anna Duggar

The Transformed Wife seems to be hiding something.

Case in point:

Thus her subtle defense of Josh Duggar comes at no shock – sounds like Ken has more than a few skeletons in his own closet given how hard she’s simping for pedos. Fortunately, Luke 12:2-3 says, “Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops.”

Fundies and their holier-than-thou cause “we don’t smoke, curse, and watch tv attitude” whilst supporting abusive men is baffling.

Christians like Lori seem to have intentionally forgotten what Biblical marriage is and consequently spend too much time justifying bad behavior from husbands to maintain a veneer of holiness by staying married at all costs. Marriage should reflect our relationship with Jesus; He is the Groom, we are His bride. Yet, at some point some Christians began interpreting headship not as like Jesus whom husbands are called to emulate; the same Jesus who led by displaying the fruits of the spirit (gentleness, kindness, etc.) and serving his bride while on Earth, but as “blindly and unquestioningly obeying the whims of a husband who may or may not be acting like Christ,” which is not Biblical.

I’m convinced the Apostle Paul was thinking specifically of Lori Alexander when he told women to shut-up – I’ll add that Lori shouldn’t teach women, children, animals, plants, fictional characters, and aliens too. Lori is ever learning, yet never coming to the knowledge of the truth because her entire identity is wrapped in being a wife/mother, rather than in Christ. Thus everything she “teaches” comes not from a place of “what can I learn about God/how can I become more like Him?” and teach others to do so, but “how can I keep being a wife and ensure others stay wives too?” It’s a sad state of existence.

Any who, Lori blogged about Anna Duggar in response to a Facebook post. I plucked out some highlights to discredit. Her words are in parenthesis, which I’m too lazy to underline.

Divorce rates among Christians are almost as high as they are among “heathens” lol. Clearly, something ain’t working.

Purity culture is not “God’s way.”

Again, Lori’s own husband, Ken Alexander, said incest/molestation are normal so idk why she’s acting up. These are his words, credit freejinger as he obviously deleted the OG post.

“Such molestation is rampant around the world, especially with families in close quarters where the the children come from multiple fathers. Where I grew up my friends would ask me if I molested my sisters, because for them it was common place with the older sister often molesting the younger brother, etc.”

Ken Alexander, Lori Alexander’s husband.

Jim Bob admits about 19:00 they talked to a lot of other families who had worst stories than theirs in regards to Josh molesting his sisters, the details of which they severely downplayed.

This is a grievous sin that breaks God’s heart. Yet women like Lori consistently downplay what would have gotten these men stoned to death in OT times. Funny how those who want to live like the Israelites in Deuteronomy did, cherry-pick what to follow. Kinda sounds like they’re not actually interested in following scripture, but creating a cult.

The Bible does in fact guarantee a safe and happy marriage. Ephesians commands husbands to love their wives as Christ did, being willing to lay down their lives for wives.

Also, the trial shows that Jim Bob severely downplayed the details of the molestation.

1 Peter is about suffering/submission in persecution for everyone (not just wives), while promoting the authority of Jesus aka suffering does not accomplish redemption because only Jesus did that (1 Peter 4:12).

The author tells persecuted Christians to submit to human authorities for the sake of furthering the gospel. It says “slaves submitting to your masters” (2:18), “likewise wives submitting to your own husbands” (3:1), and “likewise husbands living with your wives… assigning honor to them” (3:7).

Wives were to submit because this was the simplest way of leading unsaved husbands to Christ. It clearly does not mean wives can change their husbands generally but speaking to a specific situation in which Christian wives were being persecuted for their faith by their unsaved husbands. And the key is the husbands are unbelieving. They aren’t like many “Christian” patriarchs who treat their wives terribly using the very faith meant to give them joy, peace, and freedom.

This is the context Lori is ignoring – a very specific scenario that isn’t even applicable to Anna, nor most situations Christians throw this verse at. Furthermore, the verse isn’t about relationships, it’s about one of the many forms of persecution Christians encountered.

There’s nothing redemptive about suffering. The Bible even says if there’s a way out of persecution, bounce. 1 Corinthians 7:21-23, Were you a bondservant when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.)… 23You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants of men.” 

Lastly, the Bible tells us exactly what to do with those whom are not acting as God commands. Matthew 7 warns against wolves in sheep’s clothing, telling us to look at the fruit they bear and if they’re not bearing good fruit, cut them down. Not stay married, not defend, cut them.

2 Tim 3 says, “…For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, proud,  demeaning, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, without love for what is good, traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to the form of godliness but denying its power. Avoid these people. (CSB). Jesus said to drown those who harm children.

There is not a single verse that says, “except if it’s your husband doing these actions. Then stay married, support him, and ignore everything else the Bible says.” Forgiveness is tantamount to the Gospel, but it’s not a get out of jail free card in terms of consequences, and it must accompany repentance (a confession and genuine desire to change).

We are saved through Christ alone. This no “spiritual” battle, this is Josh facing the consequences of his own actions.

Matthew 19:14-16 (ESV) says, “… You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them… 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant...16 The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, does violence to the one he should protect” God hates men whom hate their wives, who they are to protect.

1 Corinthians 7 14-15, “… Yet if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances, God has called us to live in peace.”

In Exodus 21, Moses says a wife should leave and marry another man if her husband takes another wife, yet does not provide her with food, clothing, and marital duties aka fulfill his role as a husband. Also, Jesus merely warned against divorce, but didn’t forbid it.

Lastly, Paul says we have a Biblical obligation to expose bad behavior from spouses. Eph. 5: 11-13, “11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible...”

God does not have an issue with women teaching or holding positions of authority over men (nor must they be silent in church).

  • In Proverbs, wisdom is personified as a she.
  • Deborah was a judge with the highest position in Israel, and was put there by God Almighty Himself.
  • Paul lists several female co-laborers in the Gospel, one of which seems to be an apostle, the other (Phoebe) was a deacon.
  • Timothy learned his faith from his grandmother, a woman.
  • Lydia, a woman, brought the gospel to her entire household, which presumably included men unless she was a lesbian.
  • Ruth and Esther – why would God allow these books in the Bible and then expect men to ignore them?
  • The Shunammite woman didn’t ask her husband’s permission to build a place for Elisha to rest, she simply said let’s build this (2 Kings 4) and did it as she knew it’s what God wanted.
  • Jesus praised Mary for choosing the better option, which was to sit at His feet and learn, while Martha was running around doing housework. This was radical considering women were barred from learning and weren’t even allowed in church.
  • In Genesis 21:12, God literally told Abraham “… whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her and do what she asks, for your descendants will be named through Isaac.”
  • Proverbs 31 woman’s husband had full confidence in her; she is described as having wisdom and faithful instruction.
  • In Corinthians 11, Paul says that every woman who prays and prophesies with her head uncovered in church dishonors her head, meaning women were clearly not silent, nor expected to be, but were praying and prophesying alongside men!

This breed of Paulettes using Paul to say women should stay at home eternally pregnant and never speak take what Paul meant for specific situations and apply it generally. Context matters which is why at times the Bible seems to contradict itself. However, it doesn’t when you are reading scripture to learn who God is, rather than reading scripture simply to defend your point of view or lifestyle. You can find scripture that seems to support abortion (Numbers 5: 27 and Hosea 9:14), which all these fundies would balk at. Yet, this is exactly what they do.

Relegating women to insignificant positions in ministry stifles their God-given potential, and is the equivalent of men going into battle with only one leg. It’s no surprise the American church is crumbling with this stupid attitude propelled by clowns like Voddie, McArthur, and Strachem – rather than partnering with their wives spiritually and in terms of parenting as the Bible says, they subjugate and diminish who God made women to be in an effort to maintain their cults and have access to “Godly” sex.

It’s sad to see Christian women like the Transformed Wife accepting, and even expecting, such low standards from Christian men, who should be above excellent husbands, fathers, and people in general. Anna is well within her right to leave per Paul, Jesus, Moses, or whoever else Lori wants to base her faith on for the day.

Christians should regularly read their Bible and stop listening to those injecting harmful and insidious ideas into the faith intended to support their worldview, rather than teach us who God is.

When we know the Word, we won’t fall prey to the silly doctrines of those like the Transformed Wife, but will be able to combat these harmful ideas with the truth of scripture. We shouldn’t tolerate, nor dismiss, sinful behavior simply because wives are told to submit. This is an intentional twisting of what God created marriage to be like. Submission was never meant to come without husbands displaying the sacrificial love Jesus did for his bride, and we have an obligation to expose sinful behavior when it comes to our attention, whether it be from husbands or someone else.

In Christ, there is neither male nor female. We are Christians first; wives, mothers, sisters, brothers, husbands, men, and women second and God is the ultimate authority over our lives, whether we’re married, or single.

Josh Duggar is Peak Christian Hypocrisy

Josh Duggar, already known for molesting his sisters (one of which was 5 years old at the time) and cheating on his wife, Anna Duggar, was (unsurprisingly) arrested for child sexual abuse images (CSA) involving children under the age of 12.

I use to somewhat like the Duggars in the sense I found them wholesome, albeit deceived. The quiverfull movement is Biblical Clownery, but they seemed like a close-knit, loving family happy enough doing the bare-minimum for the Lord. However, it’s become apparent their entire brand is about “…Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof…” (2 Timothy 3:5, KJV). The Bible says to avoid such people. The Duggars are straight hypocrites and it’s sad they’re some of the first folks people think of when they think of Christianity.

The Duggar family built an entire empire by exploiting their daughters (Jessa, Jana, Joy, and Jinger) on national television around this everything is grand when you have 673857382957 kids for the Lord’s army and women stay home image, while promoting this notion that “the world” is evil and so long as you follow these 53285902.7 rules that are not in the Bible (Matthew 15:9), the Lord will prosper you or whatever. Rules that clearly didn’t work.

Josh Duggar was already busted for molesting his own sisters and cheating on his wife – in case anyone is unsure of God’s opinion on these matters, the Bible condemns these things (Leviticus 18:6-18, Deuteronomy 27:22, Exodus 20:14). In fact, the Bible says adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6: 9-10 ). Incest, which Jim Bob Duggar once said is totally common among families in his circle, is also forbidden. It’s worth nothing that the state trooper, Joseph Hutchens, who did not report Josh’s crimes but rather gave him a stern scolding, was also arrested for CSA images. Twice.

Now, one would think at some point Ma and Pa Duggar would realize Thoughts & Prayers sometimes aren’t enough and get Josh some real help, or send him to hail. Instead, they played it off as, “we all stumble, the girls didn’t even know what happened, Josh changed,” while doubling down on their nonsensical teachings that clearly did not work the first time.

Objectively, it’s true God forgives even the worst sins and doesn’t hold our pasts against us. Consequently, as Christians we should do the same (up to seventy times seven times, Matthew 18: 21-22). We cannot even begin to fathom how much God loves us and usually when we try to, at least I personally start to get pissed off at God when I realize He would’ve let Hitler in Heaven so long as he repented on his deathbed.

It’s also true that Jesus has the power to radically transform hearts (I mean, look at Kanye West). That said, even a radical heart change doesn’t mean you’ll never struggle again (again, look at Kanye) – that’s why God gave us practical tools on Earth (like medicine, doctors, therapists, counselling, etc.) and spiritual disciplines/habits. 

Forgiveness is tantamount to the fabric of Christianity. However, somewhere along the line, the church has brought into this notion that forgiveness means totally absolving people, especially men, from the consequences of their own actions if they say sorry, get-teary-eyed, and delete their social media accounts.

Romans 13:4 says, “For he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer..” (ESV) and, “
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” (Galatians 6:7-8 ESV), and “… whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it…” (James 2:10). Forgiveness doesn’t mean skrrting past Earthly laws and therefore Earthly consequences. Josh Duggar should go to jail.

Furthermore, a person can only change if they see a problem. But when you grow up in a culture that preaches the literal only thing keeping men from sleeping with everything thing in pants is marrying at 18, never looking at a bare shoulder, and your wife putting out every day, you’re not going to see a problem when you sin because the problem isn’t you, but your wife not being joyfully available enough, or the fact you were alone with a woman who was showing her left elbow (Nike!). Error 404: personal responsibility not found.

Purity culture, and the harmful attitudes about sex it promotes, does not work. Because 1.) the focus is on purity, rather than Jesus, and primarily on women covering up rather than both men and women developing the fruits of the spirit (such as self-control, patience, and love).

The female body is not inherently sexual – God made Adam and Eve naked so if there was something inherently sinful about nakedness, God would have given us fur or covered us in alligator skin. It’s sin, which we have freedom from through Jesus, that makes us look at God’s creation in a way He didn’t intend us to do so.

2.) Purity culture is simply sexism in disguise: this notion that a woman’s worth is tied to whether or not she’s had sex prior to marriage, rather than her worth being in the fact she is made in the image of God. Theoretically, purity culture applies to both men and women but in most Christian circles it’s pushed exclusively on women. Just look at how many Christian men will admit they have a problem with porn as if it’s no big deal, when in fact that’s considered adultery which was punishable by death in various parts of the Bible and Paul says adulterers don’t inherit the kingdom of Heaven. Even Jesus said it’s better to gouge your own eyes out than look at porn, yet I have heard approximately 0 sermons encouraging men to take a spoon to their eyeballs. I have, however, heard many sermons on how women need to cover up for the sake of men (which isn’t anywhere in the Bible). To date, I’ve only heard one pastor ever preach about how it’s not okay to lust after your wife. What I do often hear is Christian pastors waxing poetic to their congregations about how hot their wives are.

Now, I’m not advocating men gouge their own eyes out (yet) and I think it’s great to find your wife hot. The Bible does tell both men and women to not commit adultery aka wait until marriage for sex, so the problem isn’t waiting until marriage but rather the burden of it being put solely on women despite Jesus himself putting the burden of lust on the luster.

The Duggars themselves too display how purity culture simply doesn’t work. Not only was Josh unfaithful, before and after marriage, he’s now committed one of the few sins Jesus said to just straight up kill people for (Matthew 18:6). And yet, “as a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly,”. Time and time again, we see men of God falling to sexual sin and the church seems shooketh each time. Ravi Zacharias, Carl Lentz, Ted Haggard, Doug Phillips, Bill Gothard, really one can simply Google pastor and sexual abuse, and find a host of pastors caught abusing children (and this isn’t even counting how many pastors just didn’t get exposed for other things). Clearly, the church is doing something very wrong.

A good chunk of this disregard for sexual sin in men stems from the wrong belief that men inherently have more value and worth than women. For as much as fundies claim to value motherhood, it’s clear it’s not viewed in the same light as “work” men do. Thus, it is more important to protect a man’s reputation or freedom, than it is to protect women and children. This is not Biblical and in fact is antithetical to the idea of traditional masculinity in which men should be protectors of and providers for women and children.

Furthermore, the Bible says God shows no partiality (Romans something) when it comes to justice. Leviticus 19:15 says, “You shall do no injustice in court. You shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbor,” (ESV), and James 2:8-9 says, “If, however, you are [really] fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, if you have an unselfish concern for others and do things for their benefit]’ you are doing well. But if you show partiality [prejudice, favoritism], you are committing sin and are convicted by the Law as offenders.” (AMP) Furthermore in Chronicles, after King Jehoshaphat appointed judges, he instructed them to “…[j]udge carefully, for with the Lord our God there is no injustice or partiality or bribery.” So Biblically, showing favoritism towards men over women/children is not cool with God and not something the church should be replicating.

The good news is the church can do better and should do better. 

  • The church needs to start holding men accountable for their own lust and stop blaming women. I know many churches that will refuse to allow a LGBTQ+ individual to be in a leadership position, yet will allow men who commit adultery (which the Bible talks more about than homosexuality anyway), rape, abuse, etc. in leadership positions. No one is going to take the church acting as some moral authority seriously if it continues cherry-picking sins like this. That doesn’t mean barring people from church forever (I mean, unless they go to jail like Josh Duggar) – the church should be the most welcoming place for everyone. But that does mean putting the victims needs above the predators, and ensuring they feel more welcomed, loved, and heard over the one who wronged them, rather than the opposite.
  • The church needs to stop ignoring abuse. That’s all about having an appearance of Godliness, but not true Godliness. Actual Godliness is dealing with these issues via proper channels (aka calling the cops, confessing sins, being held accountable). If Josh’s problems had been dealt with appropriately the first time (whether that meant he can’t be around children alone forever, can’t have internet access, therapy/counselling, etc.), the Duggar family wouldn’t be dealing with this now. Likewise, most of the times if the churches dealt with these problems appropriately the first time, they wouldn’t find themselves having to stumble over themselves later as they try to explain why they allowed a youth pastor caught molesting some kid to stay in his position (after kicking the victim and her family out of the church, of course) instead of reporting them to the authorities. Or they wouldn’t find themselves dealing with a whole host of victims and a lawsuit because they didn’t listen to the first one.
  • The church needs to be more transparent. 99% of the criticism American Christians gets isn’t persecution, it’s everyone else seeing how hypocritical we are and pointing that out. When “sin in the camp” as Jim Bob called it appears, it shouldn’t be covered up. Everything in the darkness will come to the light anyway; better to confess and face whatever consequences arrive, than be outed later on.

Christians need to ditch purity culture and start holding men accountable for their behavior both spiritually and in terms of the law; to teach teach men and women healthy views on sexuality, sexual boundaries, and that their sexuality isn’t a bad thing. Christians represent Christ, not ourselves, not patriarchy, not men, and not cultural gender roles. It’s well past the time we start acting like it.