How to Make Your Wife Obey (Biblically, Of Course)

Somehow, I got sucked into the black vortex that is Christian Domestic Discipline. Given my proclivity for wickedness, naturally I was intrigued and instead of blogging or doing literally anything productive, I spent all night reading about this which…

Anyway, the rabbit hole led me to this dude, whom gave a decent answer to this question which is why I decided to highlight despite not being anyone relevant.

However, it got me thinking generally – why are Christian men marrying women whom they disagree with on just about everything that this is even an issue?

Christians generally put an inordinate amount of emphasis on the verse “wives submit to your husbands” whilst arguably the more important commandment, that husbands lay down their lives for their wives, is viewed as an after thought or even optional despite the fact it’s the other way around (given Biblically men are leaders and thus should be leading in terms of Christ-like behavior).

We have one Lord, Jesus Christ, whom we are to obey unquestioningly. Husbands are little more than leaders, or heads of their homes. A true leader leads by example, thus a husband should be exemplifying the fruits of the spirit (kindness, patience, gentleness, self-control, etc.) more than his family because that’s how the Bible commands Christians generally live. Furthermore, both Christian men and women should be submitted to God, so while there may be some arguments and differences that occur within a marriage as we’re all trash human, ultimately if both spouses are submitted to God, they have the same mission, to serve God, serve one another in love, and spread the gospel, and thus shouldn’t be clashing greatly over any issues.

However, the men posing this question are probably not talking about things like, “I want to pray every morning with my wife, but she’s always on her phone – how do I tell her she needs to spend more time with God?, or “I feel like God is calling me to take this job searching for the disease-riddled carcasses of polar bears in Antarctica, but my wife doesn’t want to live on a boat or near penguins for the next 20 years with out 4 kids.” There’s an insidious insinuation here because anyone asking this question is most likely referring to things the wife is not comfortable doing probably for valid reasons, which calls into question their own intentions in asking. A husband is the leader because he is to lead his wife and family closer to Christ, not force them to obey his carnal whims.

That stupid umbrella picture…

Is generally a poor metaphor and seems to ignore the fact that a.) allegiance to Christ and God’s word comes before obedience to a husband b.) men are also to take care of children also c.) there’s nothing that forbids women from providing for the family either. In fact, the Proverbs 31 woman is praised for being financially independent and using her skills and knowledge to benefit her family.

Furthermore, scripture goes out of the way to point out that bodily neither the husband nor wife belong to themselves, but to each other, “the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife.”

It’s interesting so many feminine, Christian influencers hyper focus on submission, and not the fact men are called to lay down their lives for their wives, putting aside their desires and needs. The issue of submission wouldn’t be the cesspool it currently is in the Church if Christian husbands focused more on leading by loving their wives as Christ loved his church and displaying the behavior they want their families to emulate. Never did Christ say, “how do I get Christians to obey me?” so why do men think they can even ask this in all seriousness, being far lesser than God? Rather, Jesus demonstrated His love and people were naturally drawn to follow Him because what they saw was a humble, compassionate, servant dedicated to the works of God.

Anyway, my homie 5th Kingdom gave the proper, Biblical answer which is there’s nothing a husband can do to make his wife obey except to, ya know, obey scripture themselves and love them as Christ loved the church, being willing to die for them and loving them as their own bodies.

Anyway – it’s sort of funny he randomly brings up 1st Peter where it says Sarah obeyed her husband Abraham, which is ironic because Sarah may have called Abraham Lord, but God told Abraham “[w]hatever Sarah says to you, do as she tells you, for through Isaac shall your offspring be named.” There are also other woman, like the Shunammite woman or Abigail, who did what God wanted them to do without consulting their husbands first. Clearly, Biblical submission isn’t blind, unquestioning obedience, nor does it strip women of their voice or authority.

Rather than focusing on non-issues like this, Christian men ought to ask themselves why they can hardly stand the site of literal children’s knees and shoulders at summer camp? Why did the church have a #metoo movement so prevalent it created a #churchtoo? Why is it I can Google “pastor” and “children” and no doubt, I’ll get a couple of news articles about yet another male pastor arrested for sexually assaulting a child? We are called to be holy, as God is holy. Not to be like the rest of the world.

Christians ought to be sober-minded and alert, and to most importantly read your Bible daily. We are all called to emulate Christ, who was patient, gentle, exhibited self-control, and was compassionate towards the weak. A Christ who invited women to sit at his feet and not worry about house work. A Christ who did not expect anything in return when he sacrificed Himself, laying down his life even for those who didn’t love Him.

Being able to maintain your character and adhere to Biblical values even when others around you are not, be they men or women, is the mark of a true leader and the pinnacle of Biblical masculinity.

Biblical Clownery: Jesus Doesn’t Love You

Generally, I like Hannah Janel Williamson as she’s one of the few young, Christian women with a public platform who aren’t teaching that women need to stay home and have kids, and eternally talking about her season of singleness a la Bethany of Girl Defined, nor is she grifting and scamming people out of money like Brittany Dawn. That bar is admittedly fairly low. Nevertheless, she shows how one can be fruitful and multiply by evangelizing, and that yes women can indeed be preachers and teachers, and don’t have to sit around waiting for marriage or whatever, but can have a rich life of ministry, career, and relationships prior to or even in lieu of that. She reminds me a bit of Anna from Luke 2:36-38, a prophet who devoted herself to fasting and praying at temple.

That said, Hannah posted something quite inane.

What even is the point of this lol. Does this help discipline Christians, or lead the lost to Christ? No.

Jesus loves you basically is the entire gospel. John 3:16, For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (ESV) Of course, believing Jesus is your Savior and Lord is also part of the gospel. But the core is that God loved us so much what mattered most was Him providing us a way to be with Him in eternity through Jesus Christ. If we do nothing else our entire lives but believe in Jesus Christ, we will be saved. Really, not that complicated.

Furthermore, it’s the love of Christ that compels us to share the gospel, not fear of hell fire and brimstone. Once we become saved, are we obligated to live a certain way? Yes. Slothicus 4:20 says, “And Jesus said “if you fear me, you will obey my commands”.”

Wrong. John 14:15 says, “Jesus replied, “All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them”.” Once we’re saved, there is an obligation to begin bearing good fruit but the gospel itself is basically that Jesus loves us, died for us, and wants a relationship with us. Fairly straightforward.

Hannah Williamson seems to be falling prey to this weird anti-love, anti-self-care attitude conservatives have been adopting in an attempt to not be like other girls the world/progressive Christians. The end result is saying things that are just stupid and do absolutely nothing to advance the kingdom of God, or benefit anybody regardless of what they believe in. Worst still, these things are often not even scriptural.

James 3:1 says, “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.” (ESV) Those whom build platforms as Christian teachers need to be careful to not just spew Christianese that sounds cool for the sake of gaining spiritual wanking points from conservatives. Rather, we should do all for the glory of God, in a manner of excellence, making sure all that we preach is backed by scripture and not just some poorly thought out “hot take”.

Hannah should probably take another look at her own Instagram bio…

And actually Bring People Back to Biblical Truth.

Should Christians be r/antiwork?

It’s the year 2027.

You’re the manager of “Company” that’s been forced to pay your employees $17 an hour (no benefits, no PTO), which as a small but successful business you can’t afford. Despite the New Government’s efforts to overturn this (unconstitutional) law, it’s been a slow process. Consequently, you’ve lowered your own (salaried) pay from roughly $255/hour to $200/hour to make up for the loss. Just kidding – you fired 3 employees, leaving 2 to do the work of 5. Generously, you pay them $19/hour.

It’s Monday morning.

Time for work!

But first you open up the “TruPatriots4Amerikka” app on your TrumpPhone 2 – a news app made specifically to combat “fake news” – and scroll through today’s happenings. There’s a live feed of Sean Feucht starting an “Honesty Culture” movement. Generally, you believe Sean is a sinner because you’re a Bible literalist and the Bible literally forbids men from having long hair and wearing shorts (those things are for sodomite reprobates, obviously).

But “Honesty Culture” sounds a bit like “Purity Culture” and you’re a 47 year old virgin, still waiting on “The One,” (your first marriage to your rebellious Jezebel wife who divorced you (after you cheated on her with your 15 18 year old nanny) for not being joyfully available enough following the birth of her 11th child doesn’t count. After all, you were merely following in the footsteps of holy, sanctified men of God like Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard)

Any who, you listen to Sean’s livestream on “Honesty Culture” preached from capitol hill and Sean is *gasp* claiming those who steal are going to hell. Specifically those who commit wage theft. These thieves are the equivalent of chewed up gum spit on the ground and trampled by size 12 Merrell hiking boots, and what awaits them is endless hellfire and brimstone. Sean lists things such as not paying workers for overtime, forcing employees to do things that aren’t part of their job descriptions, making employees work through breaks, and discouraging workers to take paid leave as examples of wage theft. All things you have done.

Sean admits he’s guilty too as he’s wearing clothing made by the underpaid, sweat-soaked, blood-stained hands of exploited children in India; clothing he promptly rips off and throws into a flaming fire pit. Nude, he publicly repents for his blasé attitude towards stealing, citing verses such as Ezekiel 16:49,”Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy,” and Deuteronomy 15:11 where just as God commanded women to stay home and pump out babies for Jesus God commands believers to …open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.”

Suddenly, Sean cuts both his legs off with a golden chainsaw that falls from the sky. With his dying breathe, Sean reminds everyone of Jesus saying how it’s better to lose a limb, then for the whole body to go into hell, before encouraging all who have committed wage theft to cut their limbs off instead of falling into eternal damnation.

The livestream ends abruptly.

As a holy, fundamentalist, KJV-only, conservative, Bible believing Christian, (HFKJVOCBBC) the word “theft” appalls you given “thou shall not steal” is one of the Ten Commandments = the crème de la crop of commands! Surely, one of the many preachers you listen to on “TruPatriotsTube” – Trump’s version of YouTube he created after overthrowing the government in 2024 following another election lost due to voter fraud – anyway, surely those conservative Bible-believing preachers have railed about wage thieves. Especially as it’s one of the 10 Commandments written right besides “thou shall not illegally immigrate to the USA a foreign country”, “thou shall not use birth control,” and “thou shall worship America!” – things you’ve heard dozens of sermons on.

To your complete and utter shock, you find practically nothing except vaguely that Christians should support veterans and cops. Among the Steven Andersons, Owen Strachems, Voddie Bauchmans, even God Himself John MacArthur – they preach mainly on how the gays are going to hell, women preachers are going to hell, people who support abortion are going to hell, and how we’re in a war with “Brandon’s people” (who are also going to hell), etc. You even scroll social media thinking some of those Christian male influencers who post hot takes are talking about this. But Godly TruPatriotsTubers like Paul Olliges, Nate Sutton, or SolieOlie’s Husband are wangsting about vaccine mandates, traditional masculinity, dating and what they want in a woman (despite already being married), and how they’re thankful a Godly authoritarian leader who emulates Jesus Christ like Trump has taken over America and they can now legally shoot people who walk past their homes without fear of being “cancelled”. Things that God, strangely, failed to mention in the Bible.

Being the HFKJVOCBBC that you are, for the first time in your life you read the entire Bible upon which your identity is built. You’re positively flabbergasted to learn that injustice and not screwing over workers is not a left-ish agenda at all, but is mentioned many times by God (more than abortion and loving your country!). In fact, it was one of the main reasons the Old Testament God was so “angry” all the time. You feel immediately convicted and sell everything you have to the poor (because you take the Word of God literally and don’t cherry-pick). You go to the nearest Lowes, purchase a chainsaw, and began live streaming on TruPatiotsTube (from the backyard of the house you’ve just sold) where you publicly repent for your sin of indifference towards something God clearly views worth destroying nations for, before attempting to cut your arm off.

Unfortunately, you aren’t wearing glasses or contact lenses as you learned two years ago via the “AntiFakeNewzSearch” engine that poor eyesight is a lie created by the radical left to insert 5G chips containing small doses of the covid vaccine into your bloodstream via your pupils (which will also give you cancer and make you infertile unless you drink a gallon of raw milk mixed with essential oils daily), so you end up hitting your neck instead. Miraculously still alive, you’re left partially decapitated and bleeding on the ground. You humbly accept this fate, assuming this is divine punishment for firing David last year because he requested two days off work to mourn the death of his mother.

A neighbor – Jess, the sinful liberal Christian with sinfully short, blue hair (short hair on women is a sin) who sinfully works as a barista (women working is a sin) at a local coffee shop (also a sin as the coffee shop posted a black square supporting BLM seven years ago) + she isn’t married despite being 16 – sees you and calls an ambulance. Though she attempts to comfort you as you’re dying, you tell her that as a HFKJVOCBBC you cannot be in the presence of a girl child woman you aren’t married too as it causes you to have “unclean” thoughts, which you’re trying to avoid as you are near death and don’t want to go to hell for being impure. Jess doesn’t listen (perhaps unable to hear past the blood gurgling from your mouth) and continues telling you that “everything will be okay,” while gently caressing your hand as sirens wail mournfully in the distance.

RIP

The “anti-work” movement seems to be more like anti not getting paid for their work, pro-having-a-life-outside-of-work, and pro-being-able-to-pay-your-rent-and-bills-with-a-job, anti-abusive-managers, etc. which are not outrageous ideas. In fact, there is a strong Biblical argument for all these things, given exploitation of the poor and the wealthy using unjust means to gain wealth was a big reason God was mad in the Old Testament.

Leviticus 19:13-14 says, “[y]ou shall not oppress your neighbor or rob him. The wages of a hired worker shall not remain with you all night until the morning.” Malachi puts wage theft on the same level as crystals and good vibes sorcerers, adulterers, and witches i.e. “… I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hired worker in his wages, the widow and the fatherless, against those who thrust aside the sojourner, and do not fear me, says the Lord of hosts.”

Jeremiah 22 (NIV) says, (v.13)“woe to him who builds his palace by unrighteousness, his upper rooms by injustice, making his own people work for nothing, not paying them for their labor.” (v16) … Did not your father have food and drinks? He did what was right and just, so all went well with him. He defended the cause of the poor and needy and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?” declares the Lord.”

The Bible contains some pretty hash words for something the church generally has very little to say about. And like Christians will march against the government because they don’t want to wear a piece of cloth over their mouth before marching for living wages. The poor will always be among us, but as Christians it’s our obligation to take care of their needs. One way of doing that is to advocate for fair working conditions and fair wages.

Much like basically every secular movement that has filled gaps the church should’ve addressed long ago (civil rights, feminism), the anti-work movement is another such growing idea that took off during the pandemic in 2020. Advocating for the rights of the oppressed isn’t communistic liberal ideology though; it’s literally Biblical. Conservatism has so infiltrated and become synonymous with Christianity in America, many modern American Christians will oppose something merely because they perceive it as liberal even if they’re in opposition of what the Bible actually says – that’s why it’s important as Christians to actually read the Bible, and to not let your identity be “conservative” or “liberal” but “Biblical.”

God cares about equity and justice; He detests differing weights (Proverbs 20:23 NIV); the ESV calls “unequal weights” an abomination. Proverbs 29:27 labels the unjust man an abomination. One merely needs to look at the world around them to see there’s a problem. People shouldn’t be struggling to pay rent and buy groceries while working a full-time job, whilst those they work for buy mansions and yachts. School teachers shouldn’t be buying supplies out of their own pockets and having to work over the summer to pay their bills. Without workers, these companies wouldn’t even exist. If every essential employee (grocery workers, teachers, police, hospital staff, whoever keeps our internet/electricity running) went on an indefinite strike today, how fast do you think people would realize the value of their labor?

So should Christians be anti-work?

Probably. As Aristotle (or someone) said, “poverty is the parent of revolution and crime.” Eventually, something will give – just as it has in the past with various movements advocating for the rights of women, or POC. Hopefully, when the next movement rolls arounds, Christians will truly follow the Bible and be on the side of the oppressed. Even better, if we’d be at the forefront of these movements. It’s only what Gods commands, after all.