Bethany of Girl Defined is Problematic (and Greedy)

Which isn’t sound very God-honoring.

I’ve been wanting to do a critique on Girl Defined in the style of Brittany Dawn for a while but alas, just don’t have the time while trying to 100% complete Forbidden West.

That said, Bethany Beal of Girl Defined is not very Christ-like. She’s currently complaining about free gifts people have sent her.

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:18. While I’m certain Paul was probably talking about Christians being imprisoned, burned at the stake, and chopped in half for preaching the gospel here, this verse could easily apply to someone attempting to give you a backpack listed on your own registry. For free.

Furthermore, she’s fighting with people online who (rightfully) point out that saying she’d rather roast herself like a hot dog than work 9-5 is stupid.

Lying is one of the 7 deadly sins. I doubt if given the option between being grilled for cannibal meat and working a normal job, she would choose to roast. Secondly, doubling down rather than either turning the other cheek, or apologizing for making it seem like working is a bad thing (because there’s no reason to degrade someone else’s profession just to uplift your own), is deliberately stirring strife. Something Christians ought not to do. The Bible say, “[t]hey were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.” Does she really look at behavior and thinks it’s honoring God? Especially when this behavior is right up there with murder?

Despite Girl Defined building their brand on being Godly, Bethany is nothing but. Her family is relatively wealthy, and she runs an Instagram account called sheworkssmart selling 3k courses and boasting about how much money she makes.

Yes, she’s not only begging her followers for gifts instead of throwing a baby shower, but also bragging about having added things for her current son to her unborn child’s registry. If she’s making as much money as she’s claiming to be, why does she need other people to buy her gifts? Charity is a tenet of Christianity, so if anything she ought to bless her followers with her abundance of wealth. And while she’d no doubt say something like “oh these people just blessed me out of the goodness of their heart”, she wouldn’t have posted her registry publicly if she didn’t want to guilt her followers into buying her stuff.

Hebrews says, “[k]eep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have…” and Proverbs says “[b]etter is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.” Sure, while there aren’t any explicit Bible verses saying don’t exploit the people who support you into funding your own lifestyle, it goes without saying her behavior is shady and selfish at best, downright sinful at worst.

Christians shouldn’t be known for their grifting but for their generosity. Yet, in all my time following Bethany, I don’t recall ever seeing her even do like a $20 Starbucks gift card giveaway. It’s quite telling that at nearly every opportunity to be generous Bethany (and the rest of Girl Defined) choose to focus only on themselves and their needs. Time and time again, they’ve had opportunities to show true, sacrificial charity like Jesus did and yet, they not only fail but are smug and boastful about it.

For all Bethany’s poetic waxing about not finding your identity in gender and how we’re not the king of our lives, perhaps she should read the Bible a bit more closely. After all, it’s not the love of self that’s the root of all evil but the love of money.

Christian Influencer Thinks Assault Is Okay If You’re Dressed Immodestly

At what point are people going to start quoting the Bible and not their personal opinions?

Frankly, I find Solie Osorio sort of hilarious because she’s like not even 25, yet speaks as if she has some wealth of knowledge to share about marriage, children, etc. Job 12:12 says, “[w]isdom is with aged men, [a]nd with length of days, understanding.” Surely the Lord can and does empower young people with wisdom, but Solie is not wise, nor is what she’s saying backed with scripture. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but that wisdom will never contradict or add to the Word of God either.

And nowhere in the Bible does God put the blame of grape (lol) on what someone is wearing. In fact, God basically says stone rapists in Deuteronomy. Adultery was also punishable by death for both the man and the woman, and this would include looking at pornography, or lusting after a woman. Porneia is a Greek word that basically means any sexual activity and is used in the Bible several times. Since all sexual activity outside of marriage is forbidden, if Solie was truly interested in being Biblically accurate here and not just sexist, she would blame both the man lusting and the woman dressed immodestly equally in her post. Tellingly, she does not which reveals this is just another pick-me type post, or worst some sort of trolling attempt, which is not very Godly and not what Christians should be known for online.

The Bible is what our faith is based upon and when Christians are consistently preaching things with nay a Bible verse in sight, that’s a red flag. Scrolling through Solie’s Instagram, 90% of it is personal opinions with sporadic Bible verses out of context. Troubling that she has such a large following of Christians when very little of what she says is backed by Scripture. It’s why it’s crucial to read your Bible daily and familiarize yourself with the Word of God, so when people preach Biblical clownery you already know what God has said.

In Matthew, Jesus puts the blame of lust squarely on the shoulders of those who are lusting. Jesus says not once, but twice to pluck your eyeballs out if you have an issue with lust. I’m not against dressing modestly even though Solie and I would probably disagree on what dressing modestly means. But I do have a lot of sympathy (particularly as I’m a very visual lady myself and no cap, I like looking at shirtless, hot men lol) towards men who are struggling in our hypersexualized culture. So I agree generally that as women (and men) we shouldn’t dress provocatively – just not for the sake of man, but because rather to honor the Lord.

That said, modesty teachings are the lazy way out of fostering self-control, particularly in regards to male sexuality. This is none more evident than among Christian men who seem even weaker than their secular counterparts in this area. Jesus says they will know us by our fruits; Galatians lists “self-control” as one of the fruits of the Spirit. Thus, evidence that one is actually a Christian isn’t in how they dress, how closely they follow gender roles, how early they marry and have kids, but rather in the fruit they produce. This is why Jesus further warns against wolves in sheep’s clothing – those that look the part but underneath all their prairie dresses, sourdough breads, and Christianese are actually producing bad fruit. Consequently, it’s perfectly reasonable to expect Christian men, who are tasked as being spiritual leaders (and this includes leading in the fruits of the Spirit) to exhibit self-control. Not only is it an expectation, but it’s the clearest evidence that a person is actually a Christian and not just using religion to live a certain lifestyle.

Nonsense like this discourages men from fostering self-control and is frankly the opposite of what the Bible actually says – in fact, it feels very boys will be boys, which is a very secular attitude. Here, modesty and purity culture serve as a band-aid to lust, and inevitably we’ll see Christian pastors and other prominent Christian men falling to sexual sin again and again, and Christians are always shooketh. But it’s nothing more than the fruit of what modesty and purity culture has produced over the years, which is telling. If one never learns to discipline themselves in the way of self-control, than they will stumble the minute they encounter anything outside of their carefully curated world of modesty, no leggings, and no cleavage. And as Christians we are told to be in the world, not of the world. But how are Christians to be in the world when they can’t even stand the sight of a woman in leggings?

Christians like Solie, Dale Partridge, and Owen Strachan’s answer to this is telling women to cover up and hide the way God literally made them. Again, a band-aid and these teachings are evidence of a lack of self-control in their own lives. Troubling because many of these folks are in authority over others. Yet the amount of times I’ve seen the women shouldn’t wear leggings debate brought up by Christians is remarkable. Far more time is spent telling women not to dress a certain way so that men don’t lust after them, which isn’t even in the Bible, as opposed to telling men to foster self-control, which is in the Bible. But ya know, the latter actually requires one to be a Christian and not just cosplaying as one, and I have a feeling a good many popular Christian influencers fall in the the second category.

Dressing modestly is great but it’s not the answer to lust. Nothing gives anyone else the right to assault them, whether they’re naked, or dressed like the Amish. And as for my dear sister in Christ, Solie, she may want to spend some time looking at the *probably should include a trigger warning* What I was Wearing Exhibit, and of course, a little more time reading her Bible.

Children Should Be Taken From Their Pro-Choice Mothers (!)

On today’s episode of Useless Things Christians Say to Win Likes and Retweets From Strangers Online: Samantha D. is this close to saying children should be abducted from their mothers over their political views. Abducted and placed in our already overburdened, messed up, and underfunded foster care system, I presume? I’m guessing pro-choice fathers simply don’t exist in her world, since she specified only mothers.

I decided to do some incredibly lazy, probably very incorrect research to determine how many children this could be, because what she said was so stupid I’m actually struggling to believe she thought of this, typed it out, and posted it. Online. For others to read. But not ironically.

Anyway.

According to pew research center, 59% of Americans support abortion. So let’s say 50% of women, and therefore 50% of mothers, are pro-choice (this doesn’t count the fact some may only be pro-choice in certain instances, not generally i.e. the mother’s life is in danger, the mother is a child herself, or the pregnancy is a result of rape/incest). According to the census, in 2009 there were around 85 million mothers. That number has no doubt increased as it’s 2022 but whatever. Halving that leaves us with like 42.5 million mothers who are pro-choice in America alone. The average household has 2.5 kids, so let’s just assume all 42.5 million mothers had 2 kids. Sam here is advocating for the government to kidnap some 85 million kids from their homes because of their mother’s views. Mind you, she’s not even advocating that mothers who’ve had abortions have their children taken away from them, but merely those who are pro-choice.

I don’t know about ya’ll, but kidnapping children from their mothers over their political views is what sounds psychotic to me. Unless she plans on adopting all of these kids, which is still psychotic but if so, I’ll gladly start a GoFundMe for her so she can feed these 80 million children.

The abortion debate leaves no room for dialogue that could lead to any sort of meaningful changes in regards to what both sides want. Generally, if someone sincerely believes a fetus is not alive, there’s no point in trying to convince them otherwise. Taking into consideration the treatment of women throughout history, of course those whom are pro-life seem awful, cruel, and oppressive, wanting to strip women of their autonomy, voice, and ability exist in society as something other than “Earthen vessels”, which is dehumanizing. On the flip side, if one sincerely believes an unborn child is a living being that can feel and is aware of what’s happening to it, those whom are pro-choice seem awful, reckless, and murderous, killing innocent children merely because they view them as an inconvenience. Consequently, neither side can ever have any meaningful conversation about how to prevent women from getting pregnant, or how we can support women who do end up with unwanted pregnancies, because they view the world through entirely different lenses. When your worldview vastly contradicts someone else’s, there’s no way to agree to disagree, and there is no middle ground, because the other side will only be content if they get the opposite of what you want.

Which brings me to my problem with Christians. Certainly there are Christian groups who focus on aiding mothers, but the majority of Christians treat being pro-life as the most important moral issue in the entire Bible, while simultaneously putting forth the bare minimum effort in actually resolving the issue. Evangelicals generally are the loudest and most outraged about everything without lifting a finger to resolve a single thing they’re mad about. They seem to spend more time talking about problems, than even praying about them. It’s become a dangerous, lazy form of Christianity that has mistaken the triumph of a political party, or certain political views, as a triumph for the kingdom of God. Particularly when these political parties do nothing but promote culture wars and encourage division. Just because a politician is pro-life, doesn’t make them Christian.

Banning abortion is like putting a band-aid on gangrene. We may no longer see the problem but there’s still a festering, dying limb beneath all that gauze that needs to be addressed. And not addressed using caricatures and logical fallacies like deliberately finding the most obtuse, wealthy liberal women who say things like “I’d have 547543895439 abortions at 36 weeks pregnant after feeling my child kicking in the womb and if they were still alive after that, I’d strangle it to death with my bare hands and bathe in their blood” to prove a point, when these sort of individuals with their blasé attitudes constitute a minuet portion of women whom get abortions, or support them. That or saying nonsense like “How can U claim to care about children dying because of Gun Violence when u overlook abortion” which I’ve yet to find any scripture where Jesus used this sort of logic for anything but I digress. It’s possible to want children to not have to worry about getting shot-up in school and also be pro-life.

The issues that often cause abortion (lack of healthcare, lack of access to birth control, lack of sex education, lack of support, be it emotional or financial, among other things) will exist with or without heartbeat bills, yet I’m sure many Christians felt some sort of accomplishment at the Supreme court overturning Roe despite it achieving nothing. But again, this is where Christians ought to stop engaging in culture wars and step up. Jesus preached, sure, but He healed the sick, ate with sinners, and protected the vulnerable. He didn’t endlessly rail against the government and sin. In fact He barely had much to say about the government being far too busy actually helping people, instead of complaining online in the synagogues.

Circling back to my sister in Christ, Prolife_Sam is posting generally useless pick-me energy type stuff on Twitter instead of actually doing something. Like I doubt she’s fostering any kids or volunteering/donating at whatever the equivalent of AvaCare is where she lives. Sam is like many Evangelicals more concerned with spouting off useless “hot takes” to win the applause of man whilst doing nothing to resolve the issues they’re talking. Approximately zero pro-choice individuals read that tweet and went, “well gosh golly gee, you’ve changed my entire view on abortion by threatening to kidnap my children. I am now pro-life!”

Faith without works is dead. Instead of using their faith and platforms to work towards solutions that eliminate the problems that plague society, Christians like Sam sit around feeling morally superior for not partaking in certain activities as if that makes them any less of a sinner than everyone else. Furthermore, Amos 5: 21-24 says, “I hate, I despise your feasts and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies. Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them; … Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps, I will not listen. But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like and everlasting flowing stream.” (ESV)

Christianity shouldn’t simply be synonymous with pro-life, marches, and signs advocating for the unborn, but for supporting mothers around them in whatever ways they can, even if it’s something as simple as offering to watch someone’s kids for a night, or cooking them a few meals. Care about the children who have been born and advocate for their safety just as hard as you do for the unborn. Push for laws that don’t simply ban abortion, but provide better access to affordable healthcare, paid sick leave, maternity leave, and flexible working hours so mothers don’t have to feel as if they’re choosing between having a kid and being one pay-check away from homelessness. Rather than wait for the limb to die, prevent the wound that caused the gangrene in the first place.