*inserts crying emoji*

My sister in Christ as long as you were a virgin on your wedding night, why are you concerned with what other people were on theirs?

I’m not sure where this 4% stat came from as I searched around the interwebs (admittedly for like 5 seconds) to no avail, but I imagine the number of non-virgin men on their wedding nights is fairly similar.

Strangely and befuddlingly and absolutely shockingly, I found nowhere in the Bible where it stated that it’s okay for men to commit adultery (i.e have any sex outside of marriage), but not women, or that somehow a woman not being a virgin is more sinful in the eyes of God than a man not being a virgin (also, to be clear I really could care less about this topic in general). One of the ten commandments where God first laid down the law says, “thou shalt not commit adultery”, which I’m pretty sure was directed towards everyone regardless of gender. So it’s interesting this comment is directed towards women and not Christians in general.

The Bible says, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew). Solie, who by her own beliefs is a wicked sinner, has no business being “sad” women aren’t virgins, nor judging them.

Plenty of women didn’t willingly lose their virginity anyway. In fact, one in six women are sexually assaulted during their lifetime, so this post is quite simply in incredibly poor taste. I don’t expect Solie to have thought about anything besides her “holier than thou pick-me” attitude when posting this, but who knows how many of her own followers may have been sexually assaulted and now she’s shaming them and making them feel bad for something that wasn’t their fault? Considering she believes assault is okay if you’re dress immodestly, I shouldn’t be shocked at this post, but somehow these Christian Influencers manage to impress me with how little thought they put into anything they share online. The post also doesn’t clarify if these women have been married before, or not, were they widowed? Totally lacks any effort.

Further still, this comment takes the focus away from pleasing God and is focused on pleasing man, which we are told to do all for the glory of God and marriage, while great, is still a wordly affair. One should remain a virgin until marriage because it is a way to honor God with one’s body.

Finally, it’s silly to expect people who aren’t Christians, or religious in some form, to adhere to religious/Christian standards. The very core of Christianity is a belief that a relationship with Christ is what allows us to put down our flesh. Christians like Solie skip right to the judging and acting holy part, missing where Jesus actually took the time to love and heal people, and invite them to simply be near Him, and then he invited them to live like He does.

Realistically, if she’s truly concerned about the lack of women virgins on their wedding night, how does this post do anything other than potentially make her own followers feel bad? Because I can guarantee nobody is going to read that and go “gosh golly gee whiz, I better wait for marriage because otherwise Solie will be so sad :(!” She is like “… those who justify [them]selves in the sight of men, but God knows [their] hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.”

Christians like Solie need to mind their own business and “work out their own salvation with fear and trembling”. It’s obvious from a lot of things Solie has said or posted over the years that her sex life sucks, but she is unwilling to communicate that to her husband (or worst her husband just doesn’t care), so instead she spends 90% of her time posting pick me stuff about sex and relationships that usually have nothing to do with Christianity. It’s a pretty sad existence where one cannot communicate their needs to their own husband. Doubly sad where she does communicate her needs, but he simply doesn’t care.

Nevertheless, that gives her no right to judge others. The Bible says, “[w]e are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind.” (Isaiah 64:6) Funny how Solie seems to hold virginity in such high-esteem when it’s still trash per her own beliefs. The only thing that makes her “holier” or “more pure” than anyone else is her relationship with Christ, not the fact she waited until her marriage for sex. Through Christ, there exists grace, mercy, and forgiveness regardless of what mistakes one has made in the past. That is of course not a license to sin, but rather a freedom in knowing we can live freely through Christ without guilt over things we may have done that we not regret. What a lovely message that would’ve been to send to her followers, rather than one of judgment.

Nevertheless, it’s none of her business what consenting adults do in the bedroom anyway.