Lori Alexander or The Transformed Wife is a “Christian” who promotes traditional, conservative values based on her personal opinions.

“Christian” because I have a hard time believing she’s anything but religious considering how generally miserable she sounds. Jesus himself says there will be many who prophesy in His name and cast out demons (Matthew 7:21-23), yet He doesn’t know them.

In fact, the Bible says they will know us by our fruits.

What are these mysterious fruits?

^“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” (Galatian 5: 22-23).

These character traits are not the end all be all, but they are evidence of a walk with God. Anyone can claim to be a Christian, but we’ll know true Christians by the fruit they bear. In the absence of good fruit, we should question whether or not one is truly Christian.

This is not to say that non-Christians can’t be kind, loving, patient, etc. In fact, many of them are a lot kinder than Christians. At minimum, a Christian should be bearing good fruit though and the majority of fruits are easy to fake except self-control.

If you lack self-control, it will be apparent in some way and Lori’s lack of self-control appears to come out in her posting every nonsensical thought that crosses her mind and claiming it’s from God.

The Transformed Wife’s teachings are harmful, wrong, and dangerous. It’s clear that she is Biblically illiterate. Case in point: despite insisting men are natural leaders, Lori believes expecting men to actually lead (aka bear good fruit) are way too high expectations. Women should expect men to lack self-control in the areas of sexuality, to be angry at times, and to dismiss or even partake in abusive behavior.

Furthermore, The Transformed Wife herself has zero peace about anything. She’s not kind (condoning marital rape and spousal abuse, constantly speaking ill of women who work, or women who do anything except worship their husbands).

She beat her own children and encourages other women to do the same. She’s a hypocrite having had a maid for her own children despite insisting women shouldn’t work and should stay at home (but I guess not her maid?) and raise their own kids.

It’s giving rules for thee, not for me.

Lori’s overall message is a false one not backed by the Bible: that a woman’s only purpose in life is to marry and have children, and that they will be incomplete without those things.

Lori cushions her harmful rhetoric with more generic stuff like look out for red flags, don’t be a jerk to your man, etc. that most sane people will agree with. However, the core of her ideology is not based on the Bible. Case in point, there is no Biblical basis for a woman to take her husband’s last name after marriage.

During Biblical times, people were known by where they were from, who their kids were, or who their spouse was. 90% probably didn’t even have last names. Even GotQuestions answered this right. So this “patriarchy” she speaks of is not even Biblical.

Marriage is not peak femininity and there’s no Biblical basis to claim so. In Christ there is neither male nor female (Galatians 3:28).

The greatest commandment is not to ascribe to society’s gender roles by baking, smiling at men, and having kids, but rather to love God and love your neighbor. Jesus never specified only men preach the good news and He appeared to women first after His resurrection (Matthew 28).

There are multiple examples of women in the Bible who are unmarried or in leadership positions that God speaks positively about (Anna, Deborah, Esther). Furthermore, there is no marriage in Heaven. Marriage can’t be a woman’s highest calling simply because it literally won’t exist in eternity.

In Corinthians, when Paul instructs women to be silent he spoke contextually about a church having issues with people yelling in the middle of sermons and was giving them a rubric for how to have orderly worship, calling out women specifically to be silent in the church but also to be educated quietly by their husbands (1 Timothy 2:11–12, 1 Cor. 14:34), so that they could one day edify the church.

It’s clear neither Paul, Jesus, or God has an issue with women teaching and preaching to men, or holding positions of leadership. However, Paul did reasonably have an issue with uneducated women preaching wrongly as that would be particularly harmful for the early church.

God placed women in positions of power over men (Deborah, Esther – who has an entire book in the Bible I presume men should just ignore?). Paul tells women who prophesy in church to wear a head covering, indicating women were not expected to be silent generally. There are numerous references to female prophets like Deborah, Anna, and Miriam.

Nowadays, everyone has access to resources that can equip them to preach the gospel. Ultimately, it doesn’t make sense for God to prevent women from teaching men, since we all benefit as Christians from both men and women being equipped to preach and share the gospel equally to both genders.

Christ is all we need  (Philippians 4:11–13) and in him we can be fully satisfied (John 6:35, Psalm 16:11). Sure, it’s a good thing to get married and have babies (Proverbs 18:22, Psalm 127:5, Ecclesiastes 4:9), but it’s not a necessity, nor a requirement for a Christian life, and it’s not a woman’s highest calling.

Marriage and motherhood do not come before Christ. Even Paul said it’s better to not marry, because it allows Christians to focus on the gospel and their own relationship with Christ, instead of worldly things like marriage.

Anyway, to nitpick some of her kookiest sayings.

Lori has it all backwards

Lori claims men should be leaders, but doesn’t expect them to lead in areas of Godliness. Rather, she insists women coddle their husbands regardless of how they behave, which is the opposite of what the Bible says.

Christians are instructed to serve one another in love, we are told that love is kind, patient, and gentle, we’re instructed to turn the other cheek. The same rules that apply to Christians generally also apply to romantic relationships and husbands specifically, with the added fact that husbands are commanded to lay down their lives for their wives. Men as leaders should be leading in areas of love, kindness, gentleness, aka general Godly behavior because they are leaders.

Men and woman are on the same mission, which is to bring people to Christ and bring Heaven to Earth (Romans). A man who is submitted to Christ shouldn’t have issues with a wife submitting to him because they have the same mission, same goal, same attitude in serving one another and growing together in Godliness.

It will be evident in a husband’s behavior whether he is submitted to Christ or not, and if not there’s no Biblical obligation to follow him. Submission to God comes before submission to man. Otherwise one is simply following a man’s whims, rather than God’s.

God talk about equity in the Bible.

Equity was a Biblical principal first. Psalms 98:9 “Before the Lord, for he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world with righteousness, and the peoples with equity.”

In the old testament, when God was mad about sin, He was almost always speaking towards men… because they are the ones in charge. “All your wives and children will be brought out to the Chaldeans. And you yourself will not escape their grasp, for you will be seized by the king of Babylon, and this city will be burned down.” (Jeremiah 38: 23).

Lastly, feminism wouldn’t have arisen if men had, instead of oppressing women, laid down their lives for their wives, treated all young women with purity, and just generally acted the way Christians are instructed to act. So, men are to blame for feminism.

Men and woman are on the same mission.

Ephesians says likewise, meaning in the same way, that a husband should love his wife as Christ loves the church. Furthermore, if men are to lead they should actually lead in being like Christ-like, because leaders are to set an example of Godliness. Funny how she says men are leaders, but never expect them to lead.

Submission is yielding to a superior force; however, only a man fully submitted to Christ is “superior” to anyone. A man by his birthright of being a man is not worthy of submission (and the Old Testament makes no mention of wives submitting to husbands either, so it’s clear this is something made only possible through Christ after men are born-again). If man isn’t in Christ, wives shouldn’t submit to him because our goal is not to honor our husbands in all we do, it is to honor the Lord in all we do (Colossians 3:17, 1 Corinthians 10:31)

The Transformed Wife is pro-pedophilia ( and incest, rape, and molestation)

Ironic given she defended pedophile Josh Duggar, who molested his siblings. 

Not to mention, she advocates for child marriage and pedophilia in one go.

She supports Biblical Gender roles (“Larry Solomon”) who is a pedophile (says  girls as young as 10 should be allowed to marry and has a whole article about grooming children for older men, which is revolting – Matthew 18:6) and he supports polygamy (bonus: he’s also pro-rape, what a Godly Christian man).

Ken Alexander, her husband, thinks molestation and incest are normal, and condones it (fornication includes all sexual activity outside of marriage and in Leviticus, God forbids sexual relations between family, so I’m not sure what Bible either of them actually believe in).

It’s ironic when people who whine about decaying morality in the world turn around and support wicked and immoral behavior.

The Transformed Wife is pro-rape

The Bible says if you don’t work, you don’t eat (2 Thessalonians 3:10). Nowhere does it say if you don’t have sex with your husband, your husband does not have to work. In fact, the Bible calls men who don’t provide for their families worst than unbelievers.

Furthermore, scripture says, “For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” There is no commandment that a wife pleases her husband rather this scripture applies to both men and women.

Love is described as being patient, kind, and self-sacrificial (Eph. 5:25) as husbands are told to lay down their lives for their wives, just as Christ did. Not once does Jesus ever force anyone to do anything, why does Lori think men have more authority than Jesus Christ?

To end, in Lori’s own words.

Precisely.

Our worth as women comes from Christ alone and that we are made in the Image of God, not from men, marriage, and childbearing.