God-Honoring Hypocrisy: Sex, Purity, and Girl Defined

Both the ladies of Girl Defined are well into their 30s and married, yet their brand is still called Girl Defined and all they talk about is singleness and purity, of which it rings a bit hollow to wax poetic about waiting for marriage while getting laid by your husbands regularly.

They’d benefit rom rebranding themselves as Woman Defined/aging with their fanbase, and talk about something else. Literally anything else. Even if they don’t want to talk about motherhood and marriage, there are hundreds of topics in the Bible they could be schooling young women on besides singleness and purity (any of the fruits of the spirit, how to know what God’s will is for your life (not always marriage/motherhood); talking about the various, awesome women in the Bible, etc), but I digress. Preying on young women’s insecurities about not finding a partner is lucrative/

Girl Defined largely built their platform around modesty standards they no longer adhere to. Nearly, all their videos are some iteration on modesty or purity.

How people dress and date is up to them. However, Girl Defined’s modesty standards have clearly changed as the years have progresses. Bethany of Girl Defined has a thrift store online in which she sells the same sort of clothes she claims are immodest (booty shorts, mini skirts, etc.)

Not knocking any of those things, I will die with my mini-skirts clasped between my cold, dead fingers, but it rings hypocritical to build an entire platform around modest is hottest, only to toss those standards out the window for a quick buck. And then remain mum about it.

Furthermore, Bethany’s notoriously called shorteralls immodest in their book, Project Modesty, yet one scroll through her Instagram reveals she has indeed worn shorteralls several times…

 A picture of a young, blonde woman wearing short overalls while pushing a stroller down a sidewalk. Image credit: fundie snark.

Yet, she’s failed to address this despite being called out on it.

Now, it’s normal as we age and encounter various perspectives, beliefs, and individuals that our opinions shift, so them realizing their modesty standards were stupid isn’t the issue. It’s the building a platform using standards you no longer adhere too and not admitting that to your viewers for me. Christians ought to be transparent (Proverbs 11:3); when we’re not it casts doubt on everything else we say and weakens the message of the Gospel (Luke 16: 10). Particularly when you’re being dishonest about something so silly as wearing shorteralls – like who even cares? But if they’re not willing to be honest over something that meaningliess, what else are they being dishonest about?

Girl Defined also generally spew a lot of general nonsense about God-honoring make-up and God’s perfect design for clothing of which the Bible says, “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” (Philippians 2:12) aka mind your own business. Furthermore, God made us without make-up so if we literally take His preferences into mind, we’d wear no make-up at all. There’s no catch all for what God considers honoring and it’s not up to Girl Defined (or anyone) to tell you how to dress.

God’s “original purpose for clothing” is nudity (Read Genesis). God didn’t cover Adam and Eve because of sin, but because they felt ashamed, were hiding from God, and they literally wanted clothing. The human body isn’t immodest or sexual, neither is the female form. The onus of lusting is put on the luster, not the person being lusted after (Mark 9:47). I’ve always found it interesting that the men who seem to struggle the most with lusting after knees and elbows are usually those claiming to be Christians (isn’t self-control a fruit of the Spirit? And didn’t Jesus say they’ll know us by our fruit?). Seems like the church is doing something wrong if non-Christian men are able to exhibit more self-control around exposed thighs than those claiming to be Christians…

Modesty standards vary from culture to culture and have changed over time. That’s not to say there isn’t something to adhering to cultural modesty standards in order to be “set apart”, but frankly that’s between you and God, and more than likely God probably could care less about what you wear and more about why you wear it.  Modern modesty culture is rooted in a superiority, I’m-not-like-other-girls attitude that’s vain and self-serving and has nothing to do with honoring God. Modesty isn’t just about clothing; you can walk around in sackcloth and ashes, yet be immodest in other areas such as flaunting your wealth, bragging about your ability to pop out kids, or even talking about how holy you are compared to “the World.”

Lastly, Girl Defined has many, many blog posts rehashing the same, tired content mixed in with some unusually ridiculous (deleted) ones (How to Show Love Towards Prostitutes, Homosexuals, and Muslims for one lol). The church has zero problem embracing cheaters, pedophiles, gluttons, liars, and abusers, even going so far as to elect them as pastors and politicians, all of which the Bible condemns. So if you really need to learn how to love these folks, you’re the one that needs Jesus).

One of the biggest issues with Girl-Defined’s brand of Christianity is their willingness to dismiss or outright ignore certain sins (exploiting the poor, treating immigrants/orphans badly, violence, slander/dishonesty/gossip, cheating, abuse, etc.), while frothing at the mouth over others (abortion, sex outside of marriage, etc.). But you can’t claim to have some moral high-ground on certain things while entirely ignoring others the Bible equally (if not more so) condemns and then act *surprise pikachu face* when folks call you out on your hypocrisy.  If you can’t even be consistent in condemning the very things your worldview condemns, no duh you’re gonna be the subject of derision. Anyone can pick up a Bible, read it, and see that “God-Honoring” hypocrisy  for themselves.

It’d be nice if Girl Defined ever addressed this hypocrisy and just admitted their perspectives have changed (or maybe they were never theirs to begin with, judging by some of their earlier blog posts). Even the Bible calls the “double minded” “unstable in all [their] ways” (James 1:8). 

Girl Defined, don’t be unstable in all your ways and don’t just honor God with your hair and make-up. Rather in “…whatever you do, do all to the Glory of God.” (Corinthians 10:31).  And dishonesty and hate aren’t very God honoring.


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